What is an Inquiry?

Inquiry

Describe one of the most profound state experiences that you've had in your life.

How did you feel before, during and/or after the experience?  Were you alone or with others? What do you think brought this experience on? What has or has not changed for you since this experience? How would you classify this state looking back on it? How did you interpret the experience?

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11 out of 11 members found this useful.

Transcending the mind-made world

Posted August 20th, 2008 by Durwin Foster

One of the most profound experiences I had was in 2001 at a week long Vipassana retreat held at Spirit Rock Meditation Center in Northern California.  The experience was especially powerful because it offered me a glimpse, for the first time, beyond all mental activity.  I had been practicing a Ramana-like inquiry, questioning the source of the thoughts that were arising.  At a certain point, they stopped (the thoughts), and I was released.  The feeling of utter release is what stands out to me now, upon reflection.  When the thoughts started again, perhaps a minute or so later (I'm not sure), the first thoughts I had were the recognition, "there is no good or bad meditator".  Clearly I had been trying to be a good meditator, not a bad one.  The second was the Rumi quote (roughly paraphrasing) "beyond right and wrong doing, there is a field, I'll meet you there".  For the first time, I really knew what that quote meant. 

Yours,

Durwin

--

Durwin Foster, M.A.

durwinfoster@gmail.com

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9 out of 9 members found this useful.

A Spontaneous Near Death Experience, Grateful Dead Awakening, Or Just My...

Posted September 6th, 2008 by barbi hammond

I'm not saying that I literally "died." I merely referred to the experience below as a "Near Death Experience" (NDE) (or sometimes an "Out-of-Body Experience" (OOB)) because at the time of my experience, I was only 22 years old and hadn't been formally introduced to any esoteric or mystical teachings or practices. The phenomenon was entirely alien to me when it occurred and had caught me by surprise. And though at first it was a wonderful experience, I soon became frightened and overwhelmed by it to the point of being panic-stricken, once I was totally engulfed in it. Thus, I could think of no other way of interpreting it other than as "dying."

It is not, of course, a genuine near-experience for the fact that I was healthy at the time and have no reason to believe that I would have suffered a mini-stroke or a heart attack or may have possibly gotten injured such as by a fall, gunshot wound, a blow to the head, or any other accident.

In addition, I wasn't taking any drugs or drinking at the time. Yet, it was indeed an altered state of consciousness. I've also been checked for psychosis and nearly every adult-onset personality disorder (including bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and obsessive compulsive order)--all of which have been ruled out in my case. That leaves me to conclude that it must have been a genuine transcendental, mystical, or peak experience of some kind but that I did not understand what was going on at the time and therefore became frightened by it. Below my personal experience are some articles that I've included to possibly explain how I could react so negatively to it while having it.

------------------------------------------

My Spontaneous Awakening

Today I listened to an interview with Sally Kempton, author of The Heart of Meditation: Pathways to a Deeper Experience on Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now: A Conversation with Sally Kempton who had an interesting story to relate which she described to be her official "spontaneous awakening." It is worth quoting at length, as it happens to describe with amazing precision and clarity a personal encounter or experience that I had on 31 December 1989 at the age of 22. Since the time of my experience, I have made attempts to put it down in writing from time to time but would quickly find that I would become frustrated in trying to relate such a mysterious, transcendent, and numinous--yet terrifying experience or encounter. Which, at the time of the experience--appeared to be an encounter with death. Therefore, perhaps, it is a classical example of what others have often described as a "Near-Death Experience." I therefore attempted to describe my experience in those terms whenever I would encounter someone who appeared to be a person of great learning, wisdom, or understanding and who, furthermore, seemed open and receptive to hearing such an out-of-the-ordinary experience.

One time, about a year after my experience or encounter with "death," I happened to confide my experience with a social worker or counselor who happened to be making weekly rounds to the shelter in which I was temporarily staying for a time. His reaction upon hearing my story was that it is fairly common for those who were in my situation to experience such hallucinations or so-called encounters with "death," which he explained to me were the after-effects of trauma or extreme violence. He therefore attributed my experience to "Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome" and dismissed it as imaginary. Yet whether real or imagined--it was still an experience. And it was an utterly radical experience. One which proved to be life-altering, life-affirming, instructive, and positively inspiring upon coming out of it and suddenly awakening from my bed to a realization that I was given one more opportunity at life. And relieved to know that I didn't have to abandon my baby, after all--who at the time was only three months old and really needed me. I remember being flooded by a feeling of deep gratitude and love while hugging my baby very tightly who was meanwhile peacefully asleep on the bed, next to me, like a tiny angel--just where i had left him. Along with it--a new-found sense or feeling of empowerment that I had never previously experienced in my life prior to this episode nor, for that matter--ever contemplated nor desired at that age: which was a sudden sense of release and nonattachment and freedom from the shackles of a harmful and violent relationship. There was a sense of 'letting go' and forgiveness and even pity--for the baby's father, who had hurt me.

From that moment on, I no longer felt the need to win the approval or affection of a deadbeat dad, my baby's father. So, in spite of my initial terror and close-encounter with "death," I found the experience to be truly liberating and positive. I was changed from that moment on.

Sally Kempton (paraphrased):

"I grew up on the East coast in the United States and was a journalist in New York during my 20s. I wrote for a lot of magazines including Esquire, The New Yorker, and for The New York Times. My official awakening happened quite spontaneously in my apartment. I was actually listening to a Grateful Dead record when I was totally flooded out of nowhere with a feeling of unconditional love which I had never experienced in that power and measure before and in which i had immediately realized everything that I ever longed for all my life. It was a state that lasted a couple of days and it really changed the way I lived my life. I had been writing sort of intense feminist articles on suffering and pain. From that moment on, I began actually doing a lot of inner self-exploration. My path led me to a couple of very full-on situations with meditative practices and in 1974 i met my teacher...."

That much is all I can come up with right now; but not the actual experience. Perhaps in relating this much, I can somehow connect to a wider network of associations and magical interconnections who can once again offer me their kindly assistance in conveying what is possibly mystical and beyond the scope of words to convey.

I still have the actual experience to relate. I appreciate all of those who have answered to my call for their assistance with inspiration and creative energy.

01 Aug 2008 2:43 PM Update:

Ok, I will give this a 'go' now and see how it goes...

31 December 1989

It was a chilly winter afternoon on New Year's Eve, 1989. I was really excited because this would be my "coming out" party or debut (so to speak) to return to the club scene and Valdosta "nightlife" out after seven months of being barefoot and pregnant, having a baby, and spending the next two months going back and forth with my baby's grandparents, Martie and Harold (whom the husband and I lived with), to the hospital to visit my baby, Tommy Taro--who was at the Level 2 intensive care unit for premies ever since he was born. Tommy was only 2 1/2 lbs. when he was born.

In November 1989--after two months of being in the ICU--we were finally able to bring Tommy home. It was a joyous occasion. We had almost lost Tommy. I was therefore preoccupied with only my baby over the next two months and learning how to be a "mommy."

By December and with the "danger zone" safely out of the way with my baby, I began to look forward to going out once again. Since the time of bringing bringing baby home from the hospital in November, I still very anxious so I did nothing after bringing Tommy home but hold him to nurse hime virtually at all hours of the day including bringing him to bed to sleep with me at night. Most nights, Tommy's father, Chuck, would be out with his friends partying at clubs, drinking beer, and smoking until the wee hours of the morning. Fortunately, Tommy's grandmother, Martie, was around to do all the housework so that I could focus exclusively on my baby.

Then December came around. Chuck began telling me about a New Year's Eve party that he was planning to take me to. This would be my first time going out in nearly a year and so I naturally became very excited. At the time, I couldn't drive so Martie (Chuck's mom--or Tommy's grandmother) took me to the mall in early December to buy an outfit for the occasion.

On New Year's Day, December 31, I was so full of anticipation and excitement that I started getting ready in the afternoon. We had already arranged for Martie to take care of Tommy that day, so that I could get ready for the party and go out.

I spent several hours that day pampering myself in luxury, giving myself the "full" "Calgon" treatment of a very long bath, a deep conditioning, shaving my legs, a pedicure--and then spent several more hours in front of the mirror putting on make-up, blow-drying my hair and then straightening my hair before I was finally satisfied with my "look." Still a good few hours away from Chuck's time of getting home (from "wherever he was at," since he never had a job) to pick me up, I was already all decked and ready to go several hours in advance, at around 5 o'clock, wearing my brand-new pretty outfit from the mall, a festive red dress, panty hose, and matching red heels. I looked absolutely stunning, I thought. Martie and Harold told me that, too.

Then the hours passed from 5 o'clock to 6 and then to 7, 8, 9, and then to 10 PM. I sat and waited and waited and paced back and forth and kept looking out the window into the driveway to see his van pull up the whole time. By 10:30 or so, Martie became sympathetic and was apologizing to me and telling me how sad she was that Chuck never showed up. By 11 o'clock, I gave up and got undressed. I took Tommy out of his crib and I went to sleep crying in bed while holding Tommy; thinking at the time how I wanted to die.

The next thing I knew--my body began to slowly levitate from the bed, as if I were slowly rising upward and suspended in thin air. As I continued to float upward over my bed, I became engulfed by a feeling of well-being and sensation of unconditional love. Of being unconditionally loved, that is. By whom, or what? I did not know. But one thing was absolutely certain: It was an experience of this big love which was utterly radical, and of total acceptance. I was totally amazed and overwhelmed that I could be so loved and accepted so unconditionally--just as I was. Suddenly, everything was absolutely fine just as it was and I was no longer experiencing the agony or grief and turbulence from moments before, when I was on the bed crying. As I continued floating upward, the peace and tranquility and big love grew increasingly larger. I could go on this way forever, if I wanted.

Then--I suddenly remembered my baby on the bed down below who was all by himself. As soon as this thought occurred to me, I was immediately stricken with alarm and by a feeling of panic and terror as I suddenly began gasping for air, as if I were dying. I knew at that moment that I had to "come down" and return to the bed immediately where my baby was but didn't know "how." I remember spending several minutes (or hours?) struggling with gravity or whatever as I continued and fight and claw my way down, trying desperately to beat the clock and "get back down" on the bed where my body was meanwhile lying, motionless.

Then the next thing I knew, I was fully awake on my bed next to Tommy, who was meanwhile still sound asleep, just where I had left him. At the time, however, I was convinced that I had never fallen asleep whatsoever and that all of this had occurred while being totally awake and fully conscious. But now, with the passage of time, I am no longer certain any more. At any rate, what I do distinctly remember upon returning and spontaneously awakening was a feeling of deep gratitude and love. And also peace and contentment. There was no longer a feeling of agony, resentment, or grief anymore--only happiness and only a feeling that everything was absolutely fine, just the way it was. I knew where my priorities were and they were with my son, not with Chuck. In addition, from that moment on, the immense power and control that my husband had once wielded over me unrelentlessly from moments prior back to four years before had suddenly diminished down to almost nothing. Indeed, because of this experience, I was able to have the courage eventually leave my husband, learn how to drive (to some extent) and to go back to college with a 0 GPA and graduated Magna Cum Laude. I felt that college was necessary because I wanted to be a positive influence on my son--who atthe time didn't have any immediate relatives who went beyond high school. As such, I felt that it was up to me to show him by example. Things I could never imagine doing on my own prior to the time of my experience and spontaneous awakening, as it were. Meanwhile, Tommy has graduated Valedictorian and is now entering college this month as a freshman. So I am grateful for the experience and feel fortunate that I was able to encounter death and learn the lesson from "beyond." Without which--I may have continued clinging on to a harmful and violent relationship at the expense of everything--including my son.

 

 

WALK! WALK, WALK! NOW, WALKING, WALK!

(Home movie, circa 1993, ~2 min.)

Please click on link above and scroll past the post (which is identical to this one) to the video of my son below the post.  The sound quality of this video is poor so here's the basic plot. 

In it is Tommy, age 3 or 4, running back and forth between his cousin, Danielle, age 6 or 7, who is meanwhile preoccupied with a ball and tossing it back and forth between one hand and the other while his grandpa, Harold, 60, is squatting on the ground and videotaping the film.  Meanwhile, Tommy runs back and forth between each person, smacking both, and orders each of them to "WALK!" 

When both of them ignore his demands, he continues to run back and forth several times between Danielle and his grandpa and commands each of them to "WALK! WALK, WALK!  Now, WALKING WALK!," as he begins throwing a tantrum and stomping his feet on the ground in protest and smacking them, as they continue to ignore his demands. 

Finally, after a few rounds of this tirade, Danielle quits playing with ball and says,

"Tommy, you do not have to tell me what to do and you do not have to tell him what to do!  Now, we don't have to walk!"

Tommy:

"WALK!"

Danielle:

"No."

(goes back to playing with ball)

Tommy:

"But I WANT you to walk..."

Danielle:

"I'm standin' right here [...] It's too dangerous to walk out there I ain't goin' out in that sign."

(continues playing with ball)

"Tell HIM to walk."

Tommy:

"But he's not GONNA walk.  Now WATCH him!"

(runs back to grandpa and smacks him)

WALK WALK!

At which point the camera goes off the air momentarily as Harold puts down his video camera to give Tommy a smack on the behind for spanking him.

The movie picks back up moments later, after Tommy has just received a spanking for spanking his grandpa and Danielle while sobbing and explaining through sobs why he's crying.

Can you believe this little guy is about to turn 19?? He just started college yesterday. I'm soo glad that Tommy and Katie are going to college together. Then he won't feel so alone or scared like I was, when I was 19.

-------------------------------------------------

 

 

Associated Clinical Problems
Case studies document instances where mystical experiences are disruptive and distressing. This is one type of spiritual problem that therapists see regularly. In a survey, psychologists reported that 4.5% of their clients over the past 12 months brought a mystical experience into therapy (4).

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4 out of 4 members found this useful.

Eureka...

Posted October 3rd, 2008 by camfree

I've had (or been had by?) two or three "eureka" moments - a kind of intellectual illumination that arrives like lightening bolts of direct intuitive knowing... The first involved a sudden recognition of what I later learned to be the Teilhard de Chardin's evolutionary vision: the evolving universe is the process of God's own self-realization. The second was a direct apprehension of what I now call the paradoxical nature of reality. And the third was the shocking realization that almost all of the parables of Jesus in the New Testament (30 out of 33) have a paradox in their deep narrative structure... which then eventually became a doctoral dissertation. John St. Perse puts this process of sudden intuitive insight as well as anyone, “the mechanics of discovery are neither logical nor intellectual. It’s a sudden illumination, almost a rapture. Later, to be sure, intelligence analyses and experiments confirm (or invalidate) the intuition. But initially there is a great leap forward of the imagination.” (in Crossan, Dark Interval, p.31)

-- "Become passers-by" (Jesus of Nazareth)


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3 out of 3 members found this useful.

Awakening in prison... JUST THIS?

Posted November 6th, 2008 by mjl1111

 

 

 

 

 
Awakening in prison... JUST THIS?
as rubble turns into gold.
No one wants to wake up in jail.
 
Prison's
1st morning
is v e r y different.
It holds you - holds you - holds on ... to you, and seconds become hours or
 
 
 
Days...
Who cares?
it is morning in prison...
I feel as though I am the only horse who has ever felt the licking of the FOURTH whip!
Humbly and Joyfully I SAY!
Namu Amidha Butsu!
... I AM Awake and ‘this’ life makes me giggle... all because I went to jail, met a Teacher, read some Wilber and BAM!
What do you make of that said the fox to the rabbit?
“I heard your screams and I am coming to you…(with a smile),
Just not to - help you.”
 
Namaste’ always my friends,
MarkJLewis.com
 

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2 out of 2 members found this useful.

halfway up the mountain

Posted November 13th, 2008 by Dee Black


 

it is aug 17, 1995 .. five days after my 40th birthday .. i sit in the grass in the park with my martha smock book 'halfway up the mountain' .. copying out my highlighted parts onto index cards

 

things like .. god is good, life is beautiful and i am truly blessed .. i cheerfully risk everything because i have nothing to lose .. expanding and glowing with joy and love for everyone and everything .. the universe filled with the presence of god, nothing to fear for he that is for u is greater than that which is against u .. i am able to let go, be transformed, start anew .. i calmly allow god's spirit within me to take over .. god your sure and shining light in the heart of my being

 

i open the carton of cigarettes i had just purchased .. crack open a fresh crisp pack .. slide one out and place it between my lips .. and as i light it i become overwhelmed by an extremely strong intuition that this is the last cigarette i will ever smoke in my entire life

yeah right i laugh as i smoke it .. and still it feels like the last one and i don't know why .. i just bought a new carton .. why would this be my last cigarette ?

the sky so pretty .. clear sweet blue with wisps and swirls of white like fairies and angels dancing and twirling in the breeze .. and there is one over in the distance .. she looks like she is doing the yoga boat in the sky .. a line of light shooting directly out of her heart into infinity

and watching all this splendor and activity in the skies above .. i begin to erupt .. to take wing .. to mount and rise .. boundless .. free .. effortlessly joining in the swirling twirling gliding rapturous laughing dance flying

*

i carried that package of cigarettes with one missing in my purse for a month and the carton sat in my freezer for a few months before i realized it was true that it really was my last cigarette

no nick-fits nothing

 

to me a pure miracle for which am forever grateful

 

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7 out of 7 members found this useful.

A New Way of Being

Posted November 25th, 2008 by Balder

One of my strongest and longest lasting state experiences occurred while I was living and working at a Krishnamurti center in India.  I had been out walking all afternoon along a pathway that circled the grounds, attending to the arising and passing of thought, and the play of images that also arose, as I took in the sights along the Ganges river and the rural countryside that surrounded the school compound.  After a time, I stopped and sat down on a small mound of earth in the middle of a field, watching the sun set and cast golden rays over the high grasses and the brilliant bodies of peacocks as they slowly gathered to return to their roosting trees.   The earth underneath me felt warm, alive, nurturing, like a mother's lap. 

Noticing and taking in these things, suddenly something shifted for me:  a silent spaciousness opened in my mind and I felt freed from positioning, from locatedness, from identification with any image or thought or form.  Thought itself greatly subsided, so there were long moments without thinking -- just a calm, still awareness and the sights and sounds of the day, vivid and clear.  When thoughts did arise, they arose as a small part of this "field," like the distant birdsong, not as "me."  There was a feeling of being open, awake, decentered.  At some point, I stood and continued walking, and there was a fine awareness of the momentariness of body and perception: like bubbles popping in space, body and senses seemed to be popping in and out of existence every microsecond.  Bliss and a feeling of love arose, coursing through my body, flowing out to others. 

This altered state of mind and body continued for the next 18 hours.  I went to sleep in this state and it was still present when I awoke.  I remember walking around the grounds in the morning, and when I encountered a friend, he immediately asked me what had happened.  He said I looked like I'd fallen in love.  I actually was feeling an overflowing tenderness and love towards him and the other people I encountered, but I didn't tell him anything, not then.  Later, when the state had passed, I let him know what had been going on.

Because this was a transient state, and because I experienced it as something happening "to" me or "without" me -- a sort of grace --, I do not look at it as an "awakening" or "enlightenment" experience.  I had experienced a different way of being and knowing, but while I now had a greater sense of "possibility" open to me, I didn't have any immediate insights that would have helped bring a new, transformative understanding.  Only later that year did I have more of a Eureka-like experience in a normal state of consciousness, in which I was able to clearly see and understand the meaning of K's phrase, "the observer is the observed."

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2 out of 2 members found this useful.

Drug-Induced Out of Body....

Posted December 2nd, 2008 by Julius Ko

So what's posted in house, stays in house right? =)  

Confession: 16-17 years old; high school dance, under-age drinking.  My friend was supposed to meet up with me to share some alcohol; she never showed up; so I chugged the rest of it for myself..  30-60 minutes later; I was on the dance floor; not really knowing what I was doing....

Next time; I regain consciousness; and I sense that I'm moving upwards; when I hear a familiar voice talking; I turn around; it happens to be my body by an urinal.. whatever I was; there was this moment of decision and feeling of love towards that being by the urinal....  I guess my soul decided to come back to this awful body =)..

7 years later..  now I know about integral; states, stages and shadow... if I only knew then ... maybe I wouldn't have felt the need to drink that much..

Cheers.

- Julius

--

juliusko.hubhub.org 
"Where ONE person can change the world..."

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This little light of mine.

Posted December 7th, 2008 by Noah Harvey

One day, after a councilors session, I decided that it was a beautiful day so I took a stroll down to the Pike Place Market in Seattle.

I decided that I would take the afternoon to experience something beautiful with each one of my traditional 5 senses.  For taste, there was a booth giving free samples of various types of honey, and the sweetness made love to my tounge.

For my vision, there was plenty to choose from.  Aside from the sweet attractive women and the art and the flowers the sky over the Seattle waterfront can be quite beautiful.

For my nose, smelling the flowers and the food filled my olfactory bulb with enough beauty to make up for the fresh seafood.

Touch was a little harder.  I spent some time, and eventually found a fabric store.  I love velvet, and gave my fingers something to tingle about.

And then the last, hearing.  The first musical act I came across happened to be an acapella quartet of black soul singers, who were clapping and dancing and belting out "This Little Light of Mine."  

I had filled all 5 senses with beauty, and the embrace was so profound that I fell to the ground crying from happiness.  

The glow lasted me for quite a few days to come, as well. 

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3 out of 4 members found this useful.

"Bubble of Bliss" and Lucid Dreaming

Posted December 8th, 2008 by Jim Arsenault

Besides the more "ordinary" state experiences, I often lucid dream.  I trained myself how to "fall into" this state from a young age, and only realized that it is known as lucid dreaming until recently.  Most of the time I seem to lack a physical body while I lucid dream (unless I am dreaming about lucid dreaming, then I tend to contain a body).   One thing that is clear is that during these dream states, I generally defy gravity.  I also often want to enter myself into the Olympics so that I can at least break the long-jump record.  I am able to direct my dreams if I wish, sort of like having a recording device available.  Perhaps I will research these "types of dreamers" and add a section to my "comic insights" book.  If not this

Also, I have several times experienced what I call the "Bubble of Bliss".  Whenever this happens, it feels as if I am suddenly defining the center of a thousand suns.  Everything is luminous and perfectly clear.  I often say to myself that from this state that all knowledge is possible.  I am not exactly sure how to "ascend" this state, but I have a few ideas on this, if anybody is interested.

 

Regards,

-- Jim Arsenault

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1 out of 1 members found this useful.

Vanishing Point

Posted December 9th, 2008 by Stuart Richardson

Hmm, well I was in deep sleep and not particularly conscious of that fact.  Then I popped out into a high subtle state in which rings of light/emotion/experience where rolling over my vision in a multi-sensory type way.  They were moving out to a point directly in front of me of indeterminate distance, but visually it was the vanishing point as I interpret it.  It was exactly a point for it had no dimension.  These rings got smaller and smaller as they approached the point until they themselves were just that point.  Then they reemerged from the point in a way that they both projected out beyond the point and reflected back towards me.  There was no difference between them going out beyond the point, or reflecting back, that is merely an after the fact perspectival interpretation.

I began manipulating and controlling the ring waves, controlling their velocity, their rhythm.  Then I chose to end them all together.  I took the final ring wave and collapsed it to the point.

When I did this an uninhibited, unrestricted, undifferentiated pure energy was released from the base of my spine.  It traveled straight up my back and escaped out of the crown of my head.  It was pure white.  I was the light.

 

Immediately afterwards I woke up.

Woah, I said to myself and went about my day...

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Posted December 11th, 2008 by admin
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Most profound state experience

Posted January 4th, 2009 by Ann Ralston

--

Ann  Ralston

30 Deiningdal

Strand 7140

South Africa

For Integral Life

My most profound state experience
At age 72, looking back, realize most profound experience has been the deepening appreciation of the divine in the ordinary.   Now I can see that there is no substantial division between the gross, subtle, causal, non-dual and all-is-simply one states.   Rather they are constantly flowing into and out of one another without remission or separation.
Never experienced any mind-shattering awakening. There were even times when thought there was something wrong with me, because experience of divine has been so quiet, so gentle.   There were times when I must confess to envying those who were given more spectacular experiences.   Growth and development for me, has been like the tide coming in on a quiet day, inexorably and unnoticed until the first wavelets lap at your toes…
Now, thanks to Ken Wilber’s writings and latterly the work of I-I, am able to name my experience a little more clearly and to trust it more fully and surrender to it more wholeheartedly. 
Have always been aware of divine at center and all around, like the fluid in the veins of the fish and surrounding it.   Always holding me (and all beings) within and without, often forgotten and even ignored.   Yet never separated or “over against”; the outer is simply expression of the inner reality in its totality…Have never been afraid of divine – tried hard to be, because the church to which I belonged taught that one should be, that there was eternal death, devil, hell, and I felt I did not have the authority to disagree.   However, could never actually believe these articles of faith.   Very seldom able to speak of this, because there were very few who could help me to understand it.   But throughout my life, wise teachers have “turned up” at time of need – and without fail, all encouraged me to “love that ordinary”…
There have been “aha’s” – but nothing spectacular.   More like slowly dawning understanding of this or that aspect:   For instance, when realized twenty years ago how much was dependent on other people for own good opinion of self…when realized there is in fact no objective devil…when realized about ten years ago that there are times when ordinarily mistaken decisions are the only way through a problem (eg. abortion) - (confirmed by Carol Gilligan)…the ensuing confusion when “I am” came into the forefront and couldn’t integrate “you”.   Ken and I-I very helpful here too, especially the 1-2-3 of God which has led to increasingly profound insight into mystery of the Trinity in Christian teaching.   Experience the “I am” of Christ in a different manner and link it to the “I am” of the OT burning bush (I am the light, I am who I am,…) and to own I-am-ness; experience the source of all life (the Abba of Christ) in God-revealed in all that is; experience the flowing reality of Spirit as Fire-in-the-heart, flowing water of life, and more (Thankyou to Terry Patten and Ken and all at I-I for facilitating this so gently and so meaningfully). The icon painted by Rublev hundreds of years ago says it all in its own way.
Christian mystics have been and are helpful…Teresa of Avila (if somebody has visions, set her to work in the kitchen!), Therese of Lisieux (also had no spectacular experiences), de Caussade (sacrament of present moment), Bro. Lawrence (God here and now in the kitchen), Meister Eckhardt (never more within than when without nor more without than when within) – also echoed by Teresa of Avila (find yourself in me and me in yourself), Paul of Tarsus (this is the mystery, Christ within you, and Have the same mind in you that is in Christ)…
The proof of the pudding is in the eating – again Paul of Tarsus has it when he describes fruits of life in spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, compassion…exercised in daily life, the practical manner of life flowing more and more readily and effectively in daily engagements with the world surrounding us.  These can be exercised and experienced with deepening gratitude that one can be a channel for creativity in so many different unexpected ways.   And in this context, one learns to discover and integrate shadow elements positively and growthfully.   And compassionate exchange becomes a way of life, not simply exercised in time of meditation.   Recognise there is still long road ahead, but a good road, shared with lots of other people, including you, companions-of-the-road.   In some senses, the road never ends and yet we arrive at every instant of life.   Awesome paradox.
As I share this with you, I hope that others whose experience also lies so fully in the “ordinary” may be encouraged to follow this road with confidence and trust as life unfolds for them.
 

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Oneness in Dublin

Posted February 25th, 2009 by Alison Laird

The most profound experience in my life was in 1999 in Dublin, Ireland.  I had flown across to Dublin to meet with my spiritual teacher and 2 others.  We were there to attend a Mind, Body and Spirit festival.  On the way over in the plane I began to realize how amazing it was that I was going to this city and with my teacher, who was undoubtedly living from an enlightened experience.  I felt my heart open and sing in the plane.

When I got off the plane, and met him at the airport, he acknowledged the love I was experiencing in my body as he was experiencing it too.  We spent the day exploring Dublin. It was raining and we all decided to go to the cinema.  I can't remember what we watched, but I began to notice another breath inside my body and I realized I was experiencing my teacher breathing inside me... or was I inside his body?  As I observed my expansion of awareness, I experienced myself as the chair I was sitting on and the whole of the space I was in.  This experience of oneness continued for over 24 hours. As we walked through the streets everything was incredibly beautiful and sparkly, I experienced everyone as they walked past me as though they were moving within my body. Everything felt amazing. I now realize that I was experiencing "One Taste" as Ken Wilber describes it. It has been so amazing to read in such an eloquent way, what I experienced, but still am not able to describe with the needle point precision that Ken writes with. It was wonderful to have such a prolonged experience of this. 

 Alison Laird

Letting go to the natural twists and turns of life.

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One Taste @ 12

Posted February 28th, 2009 by chris emerson

I was always in touch with Spirit growing up. Up until around age 7 I was conscious throughout deep dreamless sleep. I’m fairly certain that I consciously reincarnated as well (think I choose my dad b/c he’s been into Wilber from the start.)

It was at age 12 (I’m 21 now,) when we moved houses for the first time, that I had my most/least profound experience. I believe it was brought on from some of the anxiousness/excitement of moving to a new place. A re-orienting of who I am without all the familiar surroundings and people. It was my first night in the new house. I was lying on a mattress on the floor in my new room. Everything felt a very dark, purple-ish color. There was so much space. I remember watching a dream and feeling a divine order to everything. That next morning I was sitting on the floor in the family room when all of a sudden I passed through the gateless gate and I was the mountains and sky and everything. The only person I remember being in the room was my mom, who was working on something away from me. I was looking at her and felt sorta confused because I could see her suffering, thinking that she was separate from everything. Mind you I was too young to differentiate or interpret any of this. It all seemed like the most normal thing to me.

I had some others since, but that one was the simplest and most grounded.    

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"One with arising" is the phrase that captures the experience best.

Posted March 23rd, 2009 by Matthew Flowers

I had a deeply profound experience two years ago when I was twenty-four.  For a few months I had been keeping up with a strict daily regime including breath work, meditation, concentration exercises, active contemplation and work with lucid dreaming.  I had begun to notice some subtle shifts in my awareness but would habitually spend my mental capital on amazement instead of acceptance.  Eventually I developed the discipline to "maintain" that subtle state while I went about doing my daily routines.

After a few days of this way of living being mostly "on" I was working and my job took me downtown.  I was walking down the sidewalk in the middle of the afternoon on a busy weekday with people walking with and towards me and I stopped.  I looked down for some reason and there was a dead cardinal bird lying on the sidewalk.  I was struck by lightening.  My sense of self bloomed into the stratosphere and if I had thought the subtle state I had previously occupied was something "neat," this new state was without definition.

The boundaries of my self were one and the same with the moment to moment shifts in matter and energy.  Every filter that separated my individual conscience and EVERYTHING ELSE was erased.  I was not in some doe-eyed, non-functioning or catatonic interior prison; I was lit up and aware in every instant of more than I could comprehend in one lifetime.  I went to sleep that night and witnessed the dream state arise, complete with deeply personal and spiritual lucid dreams.  After the lucid dreams subsided I entered a whole new state of mind.  The analogy is that the state was the same as that which I had experienced during my waking life but there was nothing visual, emotional, or even spiritual to distract me.  It was neither lightness nor darkness but that from which the light/dark dichotomy arises.  I began to have thoughts which gave way to new dreams and then I was awake.

The state lasted the rest of the next day and dissipated while I slept and dreamt the next evening.  I have had several positive and negative outcomes from this experience.  Unknown unknowns, or things that we weren't aware we weren't aware about tend to be the "deepest" or most "enlightening" events, necessarily.  By far the most unknown unknown to me at that time was the now lasting realization there would still be "personal" work, or work on my own self, required even after I was able to reach that vaulted state of existence.

I could have had a teacher/parent/friend/book tell me that having an experience of Enlightenment does not make one a saint or savior and I would have understood that on a cognitive level, but I would never KNOW what that wisdom even meant without having gone through the experience with my own eyes.

 

This felt good to share for me, a traditionally private person.  Thanks.

Matthew

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Fun Guy

Posted March 31st, 2009 by Matthew Neaves

Man....
Psylocybin....
No joke. 
I STILL haven't been able integrate everything that happened that night.
MY friend from high school and college gave me some chocolates and told me that they have magic mushrooms. I thought he was pulling my leg because I didn't see or taste anything funny in them. It just tasted like chocolate. Yeah. So I ended up eating five of these chocolates probably almost ten grams of dry mushrooms. All alone in my room...

At the peak of the experience I could feel lines being drawn connecting every single cell in my body and every quantum throughout all dimensions of space and time. I felt like I was less of a person and more of a force of nature... I was nowhere to be seen except behind everything.
It felt like what I had imagined when someone described being "born again" and baptised was like.
In less than eight hours I was thrust through a hurricane and forced to rebuild all that I lost before dawn.
 Because everything I assumed and was sure of regarding myself, my demons, prejudices, etc, they all came to a beautiful conclusion requiring nothing but a choice on my part to love with all that is within me all that is without. Follow joy, not fear. That's how I learned to light my own path. 

Before the experience I felt fine, just normal, during the experience I felt quite abnormal to say the least and afterward I felt like a sun that has just been born. There was an after glow for about a week during which I felt my senses had intensified kind of.... it's hard to describe. Oddly, it was very grounding.


So that's all I have to say about that.


--



Don't you know that God is Pooh Bear?!?

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Everyone was made of gold

Posted April 10th, 2009 by Lisa Cunningham

I attended a seminar with Eckhart Tolle a few months ago.  He invited us to go into the "Now" by listening for the silence behind the sounds (coughs, shuffles etc) in the auditorium.  At the moment I became "Present", my vision changed quite dramatically.  Everything turned gold.  The bodies of the people in front of me had no clear outlines.  They were just gold shapes which were slightly merged together.  My response was simple curiosity.  I looked around thinking to myself "How weird!"  I found that I was able to shift my focus so that I could see things normally whenever I chose to.  I spent the rest of the evening switching between gold and normal.

While I was driving home from the event I became "Present" again.  I looked down and saw two hands holding onto the steering wheel.  They didn't feel like they belonged to me at all.  The same thing happened when I cleaned my teeth before bed.  I looked down my nose and saw a hand moving around outside my mouth.  I knew that I was not my body.  The physical sensation of having my teeth brushed was happening outside of "me" (if that makes sense). 

That night I meditated before I went to sleep and felt myself flying over the Hauraki Gulf towards downtown Auckland (where I live).  The water became spirit and I could see all of the forms rising out of it... my children, other people in my life, the various volcanic cones which are doted around the city, the high-rise buildings.  I could see that there was no separation between the various forms.  They were all one.  I had a profound "knowing" that I had been shown the truth about the nature of the Universe. 

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A Smooth and Safe Flight......."Out of Body"

Posted June 17th, 2009 by Mary Linda Landauer

My out of body experiences began years ago......the most recent, a few months ago, certainly is one of the most profound. The months of January and Febuary of this year were challenging.....Meditation each morning and evening equally challenging. My entire state of being felt some strange alien, dark energy had entered and just wouldn't leave. For the first time, in so long, my mind and heart questioned meaning and purpose. My entire life has been a journey of deeper seeking. My seeking came about as a way to get away from a world that felt so alien and painful. .....when I discovered an interior light, it hooked me, and I never strayed too far away from it......

But this dark like energy emerging was something different......where was the light and love of who I am?......After two months of experiencing this dark state of existence, I fell into a semi state of depression. On a few rare days I experienced the light above my bed turning on by itself. Startling me, it came on usually during one of my painful meditations or in the middle of the night. For me, I clung to believing whatever was going on, the light represented love and I wasn't alone.

One morning after a restless night I entered into meditation. My mind ranted on with its thick, dark thoughts, while another presence observed but felt sad......."what is happening? Why is this happening?" I kept repeating. "I surrender this mind/body pain. This is not who I am. I am a beautiful soul, one with infinite light and love." I said over and over. But I must say this was not freeing me or releasing me.  And I certainly questioned, if indeed, I was a beautiful soul, one with infinite light and love.

It is still so mysterious for me, that in one moment darkness came be so all consuming, then very gently this subtle light leaves my body. Just as smooth as entering into the water, my gross body lay there, while this subtle body of  light energy shifts out of its manifested gross state.....I began to fly through out my room, only my room was empty with pure white walls.....I felt this love and lightness of being, that can only be described, as the opposite of anything ever felt in my gross body.....Instant knowing that I was this beautiful soul, one with all, and my joy was so emense it escaped out and into everything....my room filled with this light. A thought occured to have a picture of my children and instantly this manifested.....what was most incredible was the vibration.........some subtle like voice explained this was because it had left the body and would need to re-enter, otherwise, this would be death....this is what happens when death occurs, and having had a near death experience as a child, there is rememberance of this powerful vibration. This soul like voice was so loving and gentle. Not really like a voice, more like a direct knowing experience What came to me was my room represented a blank canvas. My soul expression now could be painted.

When I came back into my body I could not stop crying. Only this time the tears were of joy and not pain. The pain was gone. Looking at the clock the time passed was just minutes, yet it felt forever.....I didn't want to leave and I certainly didn't want to come back into my body. I've had months of feeling this joy and love......The external world continues to change and my life continues to be uncertain. But the love within is strong and stable and it is now easy to surrender everything that does not support my service to inspiring other's awakening to their soul expression.....This experience gives to me the certainty we are all so powerful and unique in our soul expressions within our mind/bodies. I just recently wrote a blog, Living a Sustainable Love, which came out of this last profound experience.

Love to you all,

Mary Linda

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UNIVERSAL BREATH

Posted June 17th, 2009 by Raquel Torrent

 

EVOLUTION is at hand if CONCIOUSNESS is at heart.

 

UNIVERSAL BREATH

I was sitting in my home potty, alone in the bathroom and the "moment" was extremely pleasurable after a whole night sleep after a copious dinner.  Still in a semi-awake state I started to put the attention in breathing at the same time, like in sinchronicity with the action of pushing.  Inhale, stop;  exhale, down. It was nothing preconcieved, just came soooo natural that I just let it go and in a flash of time I WAS THE UNIVERSE ITSELF BREATHING LIFE¡¡¡. INHALE, EVERYTHING WAS EXPANDED AND PREWSENT; EXHALE, EXISTANCE WAS VOID, BLACK, BIG NOTHING, AND AT THE SAME TIME FULLY CONCIOUS OF MY VAST, ALL EMBRACING, EXISTANCE.  

It lasted for three minutes or so, no thinking. It was not a hallucination cause I don't take drugs, so not even a miligram of enteogen in my system. It was just one of the greatest experiences in my life, Big Mind, Big Heart in 1st/3rd person. I will never be the same again cause now I know I'm being breeth by 2nd person. And I surely rely and rest on that knowledge. Effortless, abandoned, amazed and thankful with every breath. The circle opens and closes with each one and I die and rebirth again and again. Everything anew, everything in the past.

Raquel from Madrid

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Bliss and Fear

Posted June 19th, 2009 by claudia mimick

In 1984 I took a psychology course with a professor. He talked about Maturity level 1 and Maturity level 2. Of course he was talking about a basic model of  integral stages but neither of us would have known it at that time.  During one of these dicussions I seemed to go into a state of consciousness I had never experienced before. For 2 months I was in a state of bliss and nonduality.  All I wanted to do was stare out the window and be aware of everything. I would smile at everyone I saw. I couldn't eat because food tasted like sawdust in my mouth. I couldn't sleep because I was shaking so fast that I would hear a hum. I was completely dysfunctional. My family and friends were terrified and I started to become fearful that I would never be functional again even though the state was so blissful. There was nobody in the conventional town I lived in to talk to. Even the psychology professor couldn't help me understand what I was going through. I started to read every spiritual book I could find and a little book called "No Boundary" was the book that changed my life forever.  Eventually the state faded but I have never ever been the same since. 

 

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Satori

Posted June 18th, 2009 by Rita

 

About Me

 In June 2001 I had my first Satori experience via the assistance of spinal meningitis.  Basically I woke up with a head ache, so I laid down on the couch and rested only to wake at the end of the day in worse shape.  I took stock of my symptoms, self diagnosed correctly and encouraged a disbelieving husband to take me to the emergency room, where I found a disbelieving doctor who did every test he could before a spinal tap, only to stop at the doorway later in the evening to confirm my self diagnosis, at which point I lost consciousness with this physical reality.

I was the center of what was like candle lit emptiness, yet there was no flickering of light.  When I looked at myself I was only wispy white light, and barely at that, with no form.  Not really particular, not really even a wave, and yet I proceeded to have a conversation with God, but we were not two, but One and this conversation was not a traditional conversation for an indefinite length of time.  I was perfectly fine, peaceful.  Then I asked, "What about my children?", and slam I was back in my body.  ( Buddha is not joking when he says we are to not have Attatchments, Aversions, or Indifferences.) 

I could not see.  I could not hear.  I could not speak.  I could not move, and yet I was not afraid.  I knew that there were people moving about me, touching me, speaking to me, though I could not comprehend or communicate, I was still in the bliss of Atman, and I continued to breathe and relax, until some time later I slowly regained enough of my motor skills to check myself out. Shortly after 9/11 occurred and I found myself leaving almost everything behind in TX to return to CA.  Within the next year of 2002 I gave up my children to their father and became homeless for the next year until I was rejoined with my children in June of 2003, and we were homeless until April 2004. 

We are all reunited now for better or for worse until someday we part again. 

For awhile I felt truly disconnected from both the gross and subtle realities of my being.  Neither fully in my body nor fully out of it.  It has taken many years of my own ILP to not feel in between, but rather ONE.  Smiles, the family is home...

So to answer the questions more directly;

 

Before the experience I felt a need to save my physical form, during the experience I was blissful up unto the point of actually taking a deep breathe and returning to formal communication with GOD, which incidently felt like separating from GOD, and yet the meomory was intense enough to see me thru the physical re-awakening.  I found that as I was recovery/rehabilitating from this illness that at times I would forget, and at other times with this ability to easily find my way back utililzing Art, Contemplation, and Meditation, as well as, other modules like physical activity or breathing, really just by choice, the vehicle in and of itself is not that important as long as you can get on the path and travel.

I was physically being taken care of in a hospital during the illness, and then utilized every counselor program available to me via the County of Fresno, as well as, Fresno City College.  Over the years I've have had many caring mentors to help me remain conscious of the path I wish to walk.

The experience came about due to the meningitis in this instance...however this was just the vehicle of that moment, a significant life experience that could have come about in some other way.

Everything changed, and is still changing.  I am currently making massive changes in my life.  My reconciliation with my ex-husband is at an end.  I recently quit a job with a famous coffee company.  I'm re-establishing my ILP with new perspective.  I'm working on my portfolio admissions packet to JFKU, as well as, writing a book.  This experience brought me to I-I, which allowed me to speak with Ken who helped to classify and interpert this state as a Satori experience.

Eros y Agape

Jessica (aka Rita)

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Being all that is

Posted September 9th, 2009 by Glistening Deepwater

One ordinary evening, after a day of hard physical work and a light meal, some hatha yoga and bakti meditaion, I imbibed a small amount of ganga (which I do upon occasion) and spontaneously laid face down on my bed (which I don't do often).

Immediately I sensed my physical body expanding and kind of dissolving (or being absorbed), my mind space expanding and embracing progressively larger and larger contexts of consciousness, from individual to planetary to galactic to cosmic and universal...

At each of these stages I could somehow 'sense' the all inclusive nature of this level of awareness, as if all manifest phenomena within these (nested) spheres were in fact my embodiment and my mind.

As a witness to this unfolding process at the time I could 'see' 'my' 'body' illuminated and animated by the illumination at the same time, I realised the process of becoming in a purely experiential way.

This was not the first of such experiences but by far the most intense. My awareness of the nature of the situation in which I seem to find myself has been transformed completely, everything I thought I knew about anything has come under review. Hence I find myself here at IL, about a year later, discovering a framework within which I can come to a coherent understanding and explanation of such experiences.

Still working on it :)

 

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A prodigeous Piece of ART I did; hidden came to life 17 years later in symbolic...

Posted July 30th, 2010 by CelestraART

I drew roses from the time I was 11, but gave them away to all. Only one did I keep for myself at age 17, which was a scratchboard I made from scratch in 10/1992. I never had an art eye or could see the dreamy spiritual side of art. Now my eyes were opened and this piece I did I blow up over 2200% and my life is/was exactly at age 33 was precisely in it symbolically, and all the people I knew in my life at the time were in it as well. I am searching for answers. I have seeked cancel with many friends and they dont know. I just feel i have been asking the wrong questions to the wrong people. I feel this is where my answers lie in such as this. I see things in the Natural and Hear things in the natural...and if I pay it no mind I will dream of it or something until I pay it attention. Only then after this is done does it leave me. God's presence is evident in the invisible lines of the Universes to be yet explored. Yet this piece has led me to such questions due to the portal to this time piece of about 6"x8"...its so tiny and was in secret like for 16 years you could say.

I almost gave it away as well. Please email me if you are interestested in this profound mind blowing experience.

Thanks,

Celestra.art@gmail.com

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It actually was only 3 days ago.

Posted November 1st, 2010 by Mark Rondot

Describe one of the most profound state experiences that you've had in your life.

It was a more than one hour trance in which, with music playing loud in the background in my room with lights off, I moved and meditated standing up. 

During this, it seemed like I connected to something or someone as thoughts were springing up in my mind, directed at me, that (it really felt like), I was not the source of. Although in texture and sense, they were indistinguishable from any other thought I could have.

Without knowing where those thoughts were coming from (an invisible friend, my heart, God???, or some kind of mental disorder) I engaged in a conversation which, it seems today, has entirely altered the way I see and experience life, has repositioned me.

There were also other elements such as intense emotional states, strong feelings of power, warmth, energy... but especially, a strong occurence of synchronicity, for example, with the experience ending with the same song that it had begun with (although the winamp player was on random) then the computer shutting down in sleep mode (which it never does when music is playing..)

How did you feel before, during and/or after the experience?

Before, I don't remember, I think I was feeling very very alone and felt like I needed to do something to reach out to anything...

During, I went through phases, many different phases, I'll try describe some :

- A sense of connection inside outside, in all directions with everything, with many many things flowing everywhere (it's hard to describe)

- Images of light depending on what my mind focused on

- A incredible strong feeling of being powerfull, immensely powerfull

- A strong sense of calm energy, potentially waiting to be triggered.

- A feeling of insecurity, in the beginning, as the movements I was doing (like swaying to the music) felt like I was stumbling and might shatter the state at any time.

- A loss of consciousness of my physical body as I was only aware of feelings, types of light, but especially the "thought conversation"

- An intuition that I could ask any question at all and be answered by the ultimate truth, although, bizarrely, I didn't ask things like "why are we here" (doh!) hehe

- Beginning of very strong fear when I had doubts as to what was going on, especially that something or someone was "coming" behind me

- Love and peace, strong and flowing, not still and calm.

- at one point, (I know it sounds dead weird) but I offered to give myself as a kind of "transmitter"of some kind, to give myself to be used for the greater good, and I honestly did feel kind like this and that "somethign" was being flowed strongly to whatever I imagined. So I thought of people, kind of as if I was sending them healing love. But ya, in that sense, it felt kind of like when one of the highlanders chops a guy's head off you know? Except without any pain at all, without all that electricity stuff... Sorry, don't really know how to describe it better...

I think that's all I can remember, these were all occurences, there wasn't really one feeling that remained during the whole experience except that of timelessness as when it was over and I checked the time, more than an hour had gone by.

Most of all, I just remembered, the strongest prevailing feeling throughout the whole experience and after was a sense of being "in tune", that all different parts of me were in tune, harmoniously moving and connected.

Were you alone or with others?

I was alone, in my room, at night, lights off, with an album from Pink Floyd (think it was the Division Bell) playing on "random" in the back ground, pretty loud.

But it felt like I was communicating with something or someone, could have just been with myself though in a phantasy kind of way, I believed it was something more "divine"...

What do you think brought this experience on?

I'd been feeling the need, the impulsion and the interest in doing meditation and trying different things. I had this very strong feeling of wanting to reach out, to shine, to attract attention, to connect, to anything, anyone. I was alone in my room.

I've never been very comfortable with sitting still in silence with my back straight and "clearing my mind" "making emptiness" etc, and my ex girlfriend had told me of this process a friend of hers a told her about and which she had done ;

she was to stand still with a question in her mind and not try to do anything else or expect anything else or need anything else except ask the question a few times in her mind again and again until "something happened" that she could not control. She had to be facing North. Usually after around 10 minutes or so, things happened (like feeling a very strong need to sit down, or change position) that were supposed to help answer her question....

Anyway, I decided to face north, standing still, but I had no question, I just sort of "went for it". I tried to apply different ideas from experiences and knowledge I have (which is scared and patchworked) such as moving to the music, focusing on my breathing.

I coudn't silence my thoughts, so instead, I guided them, gave them a general direction.

I think the music must also have helped a lot.

 

What has or has not changed for you since this experience?

The way I see the world has completely changed, the way I see life, living things in general. My objectives are still the same, but it's as if they had been confirmed, and a new impulsion given.

I feel a lot more love for everyone and everything, in general... less fear, more confident for the very long run, and as if the position of my "day to day doing daily things "consciousness"" was closer and more in harmony with the state I have when I'm alone, thinking, feeling music, or meditating. Although there still is a huge gap. For instance, I feel entirely secure and confident as a general thing, but this has not made me more confident and secure in things that previously were a problem for me.

I am also taking conscious steps to continue on this path and stay "connected".

 

How would you classify this state looking back on it? How did you interpret the experience?

It was clearly a trance in which I communicated with something or someone. Even if it was only with myself, this had an immediate effect in reality at that time and continues to have an effect within me today.

I interpret the experience as opening doors to me that I never had imagined existed, realities that had not been taken into account in my "structure". I would like to say I am "blessed" in a way, but am afraid of thinking "too highly" of myself.

I interpret the experience as being a turning point in my life where I can, if I choose, work on remaining "connected" or, if I choose to, sort of "re establish" connection with whatever it was that I was connected with lol. Whatever it was, it was outside of the reality I have experienced all my life (with exceptions for drug abuse etc).

For me, it is the confirmation of some kind of faith, but in nothing specifically defined. That's the thing, I don't actually "believe" in anything specific, I simply have always had a kind of intuition, a bond, a feeling... don't know how to express it, but I guess you could call it faith although (again) it's not specifically defined. I now have this feeling stronger than ever. I don't understand why, but I do have a sense of purpose, of meaning, as if I do have can have an important role to play after all.

I tired googling some images to illustrate what I felt, but didn't find any, never mind :p

 

--

One day, you going to need someone  to stand by you

www.youtub

Wise men don't need advice, and fools won't take it.

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Profound experiences I not quite positive

Posted May 30th, 2011 by josh samuels

I personally believe that most of the extreme and profound state experiences are being induced by drugs, I've had my share of experiences with that and I hope I won't have to go back there in my life, I've been a drug and alcohol addict and I can honestly say I remember only a part of my life, the rest is just vanished... I found some real support in an alcohol treatment rehab and I started living again. I just hope I won't have the chance to have a profound experience again...