Inquiry

I'm feeling rather grateful for my practice and communities such as these today that support and cultivate truth. I'm able to watch the anxiety that has risen tonight rather than be it as arrive home to discover that the Icelandic UK offshore bank I, err well had saved with was liquidated a few hours ago. Frantically transferring this money out a few days back, I am yet to learn if it will make it to a (hopefully) more stable UK subsidiary of a well known US culprit in this crisis. Ironically I had moved my money there in the first place cause I feared the worst with the 'Russian Roulette' of big name collapses in the US.

I'm not surprised really. I've been reading the good US website counterpunch.com who's writers seem to take quite an Integral view in their independent journalism and they have been forecasting this for over 18 months, while the mainstream Murdochian media, particularly down here in Australia has seemingly persisted in maintaining head firmly entrenched somewhere dark.

And to answer the question, I am taking solace in my practice and support of wonderful teachers and the work of those who have done so much to enrich and cultivate some awareness. A sizeable 5 year old 'poor me' tantrum arose tonight but I can't be bothered - acouple of years back it would have been complete panic.

The irony is not lost on me that I am doing a Diamond Approach retreat on money and spirituality in 10 days time. I'm reminded that I survived the challenge and crisis of a painful spiritual 'opening' in the past five years which brought me to communities like this and more in touch with true nature. My life feels richer today than it did when I pursued a more workaholic and money driven approach, but I by no means hate or reject money. As the past week shows, it is so entrenched in our culture so I feel we have to enter into relationship with it on the 'path'.

I've returned home from counselling work with homeless men all day. This is not the standard I should be grateful spiel, but just bearing witness to what I have and how my life is comparitively secure and by world standards I'm fortunate. However, if Wall Street bankers want to jump out of high-rise buildings, I'll do tonglen for the suffering of all beings on all levels in this crisis, but the meaner shadowy parts of me want to give the bastards a push on their way.

I did feel a sense of being traumatized when I first came to understand what was going on in the world financial markets.  I am more aware now of how I am affected by major world events than I was in 2001 when the world trade centers collapsed.  At that time,  I recall that the event caused me to lose hold of the dedicated daily meditation practice I had going.  But I wasn't able to make sense of how the event was personally traumatic.  Given further psychotherapeutic training, I now know better what my pattern is when events like this occur.  First, I experience some mild disconnection and disorientation...then, usually as I re-orient I feel a v. strong desire to understand.  For me, the intellect kicks back in first...I interpret the impact as suggesting that there is something I haven't understood -- some significant pattern I haven't been paying attention to -- and I set out as strongly as I can to do something about it.  In this case, I found I connected with the work of George Soros, who seems to have seen this coming, and who seems to be coming from a green/teal altitude in his views.

At the pragmatic level, I have been addressing quite a bit of complexity in this area as a father of three and homeowner in Vancouver, BC.  We were fortunate to sell our small home (we were living in just over 1000sq feet) near the height of a real estate "bubble" here.  I feel fortunate to have comprehended the bubble situation in time for us to avoid buying into another home.  So we are going to park our capital and rent a house for a while, which I am pretty certain is a good move, as we are seeing what has been a highly inflated housing market starting to correct significantly here in Vancouver.

No big answers or further direction to offer here -- just happy to be able to process some of this within the community.

--

Durwin Foster

durwinfoster@gmail.com

Your Money or Your Life, Great Book by the late Joe Dominquez, read it 15 or so years ago, did all the exercises, closely examined, to the penny, where my money was going -- by tracking Everything I spent for 2 or 3 months, Eye-Opening, quickly saw the relationship between Money equaling Life Energy, slowly cut out or down the BS (walking in Manhattan(no subway or buses), brought my own lunch, gave-up Media Diet of daily newspapers, etc,) Questioned Everything I thought I needed -- "Do I Really Need this?", if so can it wait, started to buy what I did needed off season, patiently, mindfully waited to see when it was on sale, reduced, used or mostly waited for Desire to pass. Now like the Gambling epidemic (Wall St included) where its not about winning or losing, but the Constant Action, I understand its not possessions, experiences, etc we desire, But the intoxicaton of Desire, We Desire literally Desire, the buzz of wanting something (any-thing really), thinking of it, shopping for it, finally buying it, then when the allure wears off (and it always does -- the new car sits in the driveway unwashed, the new clothes hanging with many other like it in the closet, etc), like an Addict we desire the next thing and the next. Break this Cycle by mindfully becoming aware of it, In a nutshell Live Simply-- we can all do a btter job of that, With less to shop for, buy, store, insure, worry about - true Freedom is found. I've lived significantly below my means for many years and thankfully have the means to help others --

As for the current times with a multitude of crisies -- economic, enviromental, social  -- in a strange sense its a good thing, for not only should everyone (Gov't, corporate, Individual) start to examine the collusive madness of our interpeneratrating actions, but perhaps more important It may create the neccessary Life-Conditons to perhaps Tip exiting Greens into the Integral World-Space to create the changes we really need to see.