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ILC - net, net, a good place to be, yes?

Posted January 27th, 2012 by Ambo Suno

 What I Like About Integral Life Community

 
Before I say the several items, I want to acknowledge that I have been influenced currently by various threads but particularly that the one that queried the difference between Integralist and Integralite, and Jane's thread where she invited ILP statements in which Layman did another mighty riff describing what fills much of the content and process of his days. Oh, this is something I like. I learn so much from different people in the content and the modelings, exemplars, pleasing and difficult to let in.
 
What occurred to me this afternoon was how safe ILC has felt to me for learning. Notwithstanding what some others have said about their interpretations and experiences, ILC seems to me to be a lot safer than the more 3 and 4D world in which we move. It would be highly unlikely that anyone would get run over by a drunk driver, punched out, raped, armedly robbed, believably threatened, shot, bludgeoned, and such. The silicon on the eyes, which can avert themselves from the screen or not, is not the same as physically dense matter on the skull. What a fine place to feel some freedom and to experiment with what I can handle from others.
 
As to psychologically safe, that is potentially a longer story according to some. At the moment I am leaning in the direction of we each are responsible for our suffering here. When I suffer embarrassment, fear, shame, humiliation, I can eventually get that there is a fulcrum point around my self-management skills and where I put the locus of control. And I do suffer and sting some.
 
This is some of what I am learning, and because it is relatively safe here, I can't convincingly blame others for too long. I can hang on to my resentments, grudges, and blaming beliefs, which has been one of my fortes over the years, but I get to feel more what is mine - something about the virtual spaciousness and the relatively harmless reflections from others about what I'm up to inside myself and in interacting with others.
 
From examples that I see in how others manage their lives, or how I extrapolate and imagine, in a subtle way my patterns potentially are enlarged and made more effective. Sometimes I'm inspired, and sometimes I get to see how limited I am in comparison to others - this allows me to learn to accept. The serenity prayer probably fits in well with my and some of our huge limitations and stucknesses of the moment and maybe forever.
 
I have found this to be a place where I can in a sense experiment with and simultaneously allow the tendency to regress, act immature or moderately dysfunctional in an interaction/self-presentation along some lines, like the social line or the self line. For some of us, being socially put down, shunned, alienated, ostracized, is one of the earliest, greatest, and deepest fears and we are not likely to easily jettison the ways that we have developed to avoid that. Some of these social adaptations happened when we were so young. Love withheld from mommy or daddy some for seemingly arbitrary 'mistakes' and deficits of expected action, rolled eyes or bullying on the playground, and later still, avoidance or sabotage by others at work, such that we don't even remember all that we elegantly traversed, navigated, and integrated, and that which we grossly compensated for in less long-term effective and self-whole-enhancing ways. This forum in a way is a simmering broth of opportunity and of actual obvious and invisible leanings.
 
I have been allowed to even be dorky to the point of my own embarrassment - then I get to learn about the transient nature of embarrassment and the resilient possibilities even for resurrection of respect and inclusion within the group. (Not that "the group" is a homogenous electorate that all vote the same and silently say, "Welcome back, 'Sometimes Dork'.")
 
There are times when I am surprised by how much generosity there is when we make a casual statement and it is wrong or clearly partial and it is let slide. We probably often know that our comment could have been pounced on, even in reference to some detail that could have distracted from our main theme and intent. I know I often feel that I have been allowed a quirkiness, a blatant narcissistic demonstration under another guise,  a minor sleight-of-hand, and a wanting to rush past a weak point in my layout. Quite a lot of generosity, and much could be said about this as pertains particularly to a developmental perspective, allowing a lesser perspective some room to stumble and bumble around.
 
It's probably also good that it isn't always carte blanche either. And sometimes we are like a dog on a bone - get ready you, because you get to do some learning soon. How are you going to take it? Don't you hate that :)
 
I am glad that the ILC admin are regularly posting the Integral Posts. The quality is overall good and it seems to lay down some steady baseline threads in the fabric that allow us to stay more cohesive and enduring despite some places of severe biased twistings and unravellings.
 
This is a weird phenomenon, I am thinking, for us each differently. The question and condition arises quite often for me where I say, "What is this thing that we are doing?" "What am I doing here?"
 
Well, among other things, we could say, we are working, no? And we are being worked, yes? Granted, sometimes the work seems to move very slowly, even backwards. Sometimes it appears totally dubious, no? And there are plenty of positive metaphors that we could engage to acknowledge that ILC may actually be important for many of us, yes? Or ought we stay with the real unknowing of its value?
 
Thanks, ambo 

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lapidary & beyond...

Posted January 28th, 2012 by Charles Bowling

Hi Ambo,
 
>>And there are plenty of positive metaphors that we could engage to acknowledge that ILC may actually be important for many of us, yes? Or ought we stay with the real unknowing of its value? <<
 
Yes! Let’s do both. How about a pair of metaphors?
 
We could start with the lapidary effect. When we interact with the site we inevitably bring along our rough edges, and in the best case scenario our rough edges are smoothed -even polished like fine Jade. Alas, often we resist, and tend to cling to old forms, attitudes, and expressions.  
 
Or we could up the scale of this metaphor and picture wind-swept rock formations in the North American West. The forces at work here are of a different order; the personal is left behind and we are subject to greater winds and crosscurrents, some of them are interplanetary and may well extend to the center of the galaxy and beyond.
 
What links these movements, both small and large, is a sense of direction, an awareness and appreciation of flow and duration. And I deem it wise to check in from time to time, making note of our direction and the effects it has; if mid-course correction is needed, we just shift, and persevere in both our freedom and obligation.
 
-Charles

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shift in topic within this thread - AKA an ambo snippets thread

Posted January 28th, 2012 by Ambo Suno

To make space for some more thoughts and impulses to express, while honoring the 2 post per front page guideline, I add on here.

This is an immediate impulse to record a current event in the new-for-me coastal community coffee shop, partly under the sway of rich, field-expanding posts here. There is a youngish looking man of indeterminant age being with two elderly ladies. Just now two younger, approaching middle age women came up to the threesome. Before, they arrived is what interested me most. The young man neatly and plainly dressed in levi's and print shirt, has trimmly combed and cut hair, smooth skin, and an easy smile on his face. He stands with ease also, short in stature, and no history of social posturing as remnant in the authentic and innocent way that he looks around. Innocent, modest, sweet, I'd say. Guileless is my impression. He probably is in his twenties or thirties and it is hard to say. This beautiful demeanored and auraed fellow came to look around for a chair after his easy standing and he selected a stool. He carefully placed it next to the small round table and then with sensitivity put a cheek and a half down and swiveled under the top. He misjudged slightly the height of the stool and I worried that with all of this intentioned care that he might spill the glasses of ice drinks sitting in front of the old ladies. He didn't and he showed no alarm. Everything remained congenial with the women and him, his moderate smile travelling without strain between neutral, content in being, and pleased-amused. I want to say now that I believe he has Down's syndrome and probably high functioning. I'd love to hear the few phrases that he has said. This man/boy appears loved and loving and not in a charming pet kind of way. He has presence, poise, refinement, and good nature. I am moved to call him good and beautiful. True, true.

That's all.

PS - I must add before I submit this, that he just tapped out a rhythm on the stool with his hands, on time and light-handed to the up-beat background Starbuck music. There was more that was fine, but I'll leave it here, and the four women and he just left.

ambo

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neti, neti

Posted January 28th, 2012 by Layman Pascal

 

Although the very structure of the site may limit its ability, to some degree, to act as a mobilization nexus for the ethical and social extension of Integal thought it is also true that it has real utility in its present from.  I appreciate the dose of Gratitude, Ambo.  And it sure it is important to keep one foot in the unknowing of the value of what we are doing.

What do I think I'm doing here?

1. Improving my articulation and self-exposure in a field that is (relative to daily life) full of "peers".  Placing my own growth on sure footing by making sure that the "WE" of my own holon doesn't go undernourished.  Getting better at the conversation we share.

2. Helping to lay down the morphic tracks for higher community and higher discourse... which is a profoundly moral act if we understand the world's problems to require a drastic increase in the presence of second tier energies.

3. Being reminded & challenged by values which I already affirm... and thereby growing deeper and more authentic in my assimilation of these values.

>>And there are plenty of positive metaphors that we could engage to acknowledge that ILC may actually be important for many of us, yes? Or ought we stay with the real unknowing of its value? <<

 Okay, relative to my three points above:

1. Physiotherapy.  Learning to walk again with an artificial device to supplement a short or damaged leg.  Gaining skill and grace and movement potential.  Having the nursing staff around to encourage you.

2. Deer in the woods.  Where I grew up you were lucky to find deer trails in the forest.  These little paths, no matter how different from a highway or a plane, provide real transportation -- and they become more reliable each time you tread upon them.

3. A golfer watching a video replay of his swing.  He already knows how to golf.  He already feels what is important to focus upon in order to improve.  But with the feedback that comes from an additional circuit of interaction he discovers little areas in which his existing skills can fine-tune themselves.

 

Thanks, I've been...

Layman Pascal

 

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