no response

Yes, Maria - these do seem like common situations: limited interest in a topic, being busy, and not feeling comfortable with the language. Thanks for jumping in.

How about:

 - a person resonates with the topic but even in native English doesn't feel able to articulate well so avoids the chore, and potential embarrassment.

- Reader likes the topic, feels annoyed in the way the writer presented it, doesn't want to be seen as contrary, argumentative or aggressive so stays silent? For cultural politeness norms? For fear of retaliation and frightening conflict? For how their responding might affect the feeling of their own remaining day including their own health and sanity? For fear of social ostracism? Though they feel annoyed at the presented material and their sense of the person's egoic display from before, they feel some sensitivity, empathy or sympathy for the person? Or delicacy for the fragile process of blogging and on-line social forums and don't quite feel up to the demanding thought and writing task of articulating areas of disagreement - here again the time required to respond might come in?

Scott, thanks for mentioning that pain in the butt glitch of returning to a recently submitted post. I don't know if it is coincidence, but suddenly it didn't happen on my last submission. Cool.

Yes, regardless of reasons for someone's response or absence of response, our feelings and reactions can inform us that we have shadow work we can enter into if we want. So there is always individual value.

Of further individual member benefit we can probably learn and include more if we psychologically understand the many and varied sources of reaction to us, understand the world we live in at ILC and otherwise. For some of us, this may be especially helpful in filling in gaps of self development.

From a social group and cultural perspective, there may be benefits for how ILC functions by understanding these socio-cultural dynamics.

- Sometimes we don't reply because we don't want to reveal who we are - we conservatively protect ourselves

Hi David - I can relate to both of these.

I'm guessing that a lot of people feel that it's hard to read so many threads, to keep up, and then to reply with quality can take a lot of time - especially if the topic touches on something important to them but they haven't developed that clearly yet. In addition to taking time, if it's a challenging area - and would therefore be particularly beneficial to try to articulate - these other anxieties, defenses, and self-consciousnesses might enter in.

I also sometimes feel shadowy self-consciousness around age - but on the other side of the life rainbow's apogee. For example, I have had so much life experience, I fear I might tend to natter on about so many impressions I've had along the way. Relatedly, I might think I know a lot an talk like the stereotypical old man who thinks what he is saying is particularly important or wise, though it's developmental perspective along some lines are still dubiously basic. Some of the themes that are brought up around relationship, parenting, sexuality that are so foreground in life's journey may not seem so relevant to me. You may feel like an outlier in age so you are hesitant to speak your inner impressions and experience - I feel like an outlier and my older biological and other facets of self might have me staying out of fervent discussions, of, say, sex.

I'm glad you mention these two points. Thanks for putting them on the list.

As an aside, excuse me for saying, I wouldn't be surprised if people would actually love to hear more of your younger view on things, regardless of 'stage'. Sometimes an integrity and freshness comes through in the relative clarity and simplicity of a young view. Entering the social meeting and maybe the fray.

Thanks.

- We think we have nothing to offer.

Jennifer, I share that sense that it's one's inner reactions to our environment that deserves so much attention since we probably have less potent immediate effect on our environment. Captain our own ships, our own selves primarily.

I also feel that a lot of my work or my rationalization as "work" has been to toss more and more of my shadowed parts into the social fishbowl and learn from coming out of the shadow. Each situation is probably different and I don't always know if my act of seeming transparency is more wise shadow work, narcissism without direction, a spring-loaded impulse, or a reinforcement of an old pattern rather than a cleansing catharsis - sometimes it feels a bit of a crap shoot, given that wisdom does not yet have me as its primary residence. I do however like to see others doing their messy work too, especially if they are somewhat conscious of trying to not hurt others in the process. I know that I recognize that there is a social limit to how and how much one can 'use' a group forum to work through one's glitches and demons before it becomes counterproductive. I'm not always clear where that zone is.

I feel relieved sometimes to see that the people who appear to have such evolved personae engaging the world, display and own their 'pathologies'. Though I can judge and feel ambivalent, this is one of the things I respect about Ken - how he can show during his public conversations his tendencies and impulses, such as the taboo area of sexuality, which are often kept hidden in influential people.

Thanks, Jennifer, for jumping in.

- it's embarrassing and I sometimes feel envy and resentment to those more evolved than me, and I try to hide it in my responses or absence of response.