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Healing Accumulated Pain

Posted July 21st, 2011 by chris emerson

 So I've been in a good amount of emotional/psychological pain (mostly held in my belly) for about 5 years now. I'm a super sensitive dude and when bad things happened it was always just too overwhelming so I kept avoiding pain until it just built up into this monster. I've still been very functional, but the background of pain just taints every experience I have. I've been in therapy for most of those 5 years and on various different medications. There haven't been any huge breakthroughs in therapy and I've found the meds to just be suppressing. I've watched innumerable spiritual videos about surrendering, letting go, allowing everything, giving feeling-attention, meditating, etc. and as much as I try to follow those practices I just can't get to the pain and fully release/heal it. It is endlessly frustrating. My fears of losing control, scaring others, or dying is likely getting in the way. I don't know much about alternative healing methods. I thought ayahuasca (with a shaman) might be a good idea and had it recommened to me by a spiritual teacher, but then I've had others who think that's a very bad idea. I've also heard sensory deprevation tanks can be healing. 

I don't mean to use this as a therapy session, but would just like some more perspectives on how people have healed their emotional/psychological pain. It's taught me many things, but it's time to move on now (from the suffering, as I know there will always be pain periodically.)

Thanks!

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"Kelly Baker does not accept private messages."

Posted July 21st, 2011 by chris emerson

 Hi Kelly,

Thanks for the response! I would like the name of your dude. I think listening to my heart is the best advice. I will keep trying to listen (it can be very hard to hear) and choose my next step from there. 

Best,

Chris

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Hi, Chris

Posted July 22nd, 2011 by Jennifer Grove

I'm hearing an obvious message in this. Tell me what you think.

Your pain does not WANT to be "healed and released". It won't LET YOU get close enuf to do that. It doesn't TRUST you.

You've prolly already considered this since you've tried so many things. I know it's true for me, so I may also be projecting. My pain and I fight and make up. Fight and make up. And it knows that I am ambivalent about it so it won't allow me full access. My Meaning-making Machine causes the Pain to believe that it is imbued with infinite meaning and so won't let me get rid of it. That would be immoral. Like getting rid of the memory of the Holocaust. It is really distrustful of Spiritual Teachers (and wannabe's) who gleefully proclaim the possibility of freedom from meaning or who laugh at meaning and mock it like Tolle. KW doesn't do that which is why I cling to him for support in this regard. He calls them to account and holds the line that ego health must be achieved first before ego death. Healing from pain is not achieved thru Spiritual Realization. That's just Spiritual Bypassing. So, I'm looking at the potential for developing a container that is large enuf to compassionately hold the infinite meaning of Pain. It may be only a matter of semantics. But my Pain seems to relax and trust me more when I pursue that.

I too am interested in Ayahuasca. And X. They have been claimed to help with PTSD and I know from my own experimentation with other drugs that that potential is real. I don't know how permanent that help will be. Without State Training to help hold the realizations, I don't see how it can be much more but a BIG tease.

Luck and  to you.

--

"The Left Hand Path, not merely the Right ... must take the lead."

~SES pg. 148