To All Community Members: A Word About Good Housekeeping

The Internet creates unusual conditions that can turn otherwise stable people a little loopy:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Online_disinhibition_effect

More than what would just seem to be obvious rules, people should be made aware of the psychology of interacting in this environment.

There is a potluck. There are expected to be around 50 people in her little studio and backyard. The host generously provided grilled fish. She went out on a limb a bit financially because she wanted to show her appreciation and to co-create a fine and lighthearted experience. At this time in her life money is tight but she's excited to do this, and she bought twenty-five fillets, cutting them in half

Hilda is a little concerned about having enough of this central dish for those of her friends who come later; she also comes to feel comfortable saying and placing a sign on the table, "Please, take just one piece - and enjoy it all." Sensible, gracious on all sides, cool.

Some person will probably come and scoop up a couple of pieces to start. Wolf, wolf, yumm, yumm. We all can relate to wanting to do exactly what we are drawn to do.

Here, there is hunger, attraction, many things - even creative spurts. Whoopee! Freud's pleasure principal still rules until we become more civilized or until we evolve to more frequent states or enduring patterns of inner sufficiency. And such. Sometimes a thread of anger at authority or boundaries or seeming constraint persists; sometimes passive aggression, no? Sometimes another person has a genuine need that can be honored inside ourselves because we sense it's truth and beauty and goodness.

Over the long term, a person won't be invited back to the book club if they can't control their jones for Laker talk, or those dammed politicians, jibberish, un-disciplined tangents, or word-salad. We may even have a root affection for a person but not be able to be around them in some contexts and situations. Been there done that. Still. There are some occasions and settings where I don't fit. I may know it and self-select out, or it may be communicated to me and I may feel and react in various ways not always pretty.

Self and other. No escaping it, easily, or for long.

Back to the fish. I picture some light herbs, a little butter, lemon...hmm... I'm not sure. Not dry but sufficiently cooked. Dang. I'd sure like a second piece. Maybe a third. Dang.