Disintegral Life

Some days feel simply terrible. Pathalogically so. Hollow, and void of meaning. I don't feel this way most of the time, but AQAL has really given me some great insights into parts of my story, being and experience that can become neglected, and so can develop a cold, a case of the blues, or worse. I tend to get really apathetic at times like these. Ineffective to be sure.

This week there have been a string of days like this. It was Sartre who said "hell is other people", and whether those people be family, neighbors or folks at work, for me there is real benefit in 3-2-1 exercises, as well as shadow work, and even compassionate exchange. All of these little exercises are buttressed by the framework of AQAL studies, however, which allows me to look on others and myself with much more understanding and compassion, and the apathetic episodes become shorter and less frequent over time.

I have to say however that higher stages of awareness actually can, as Ken Wilber warns, set the stage for more pathologies. More moving parts to malfunction. The deeper and broader one's awareness becomes, the more things can and do go wrong. For example, when I was 17, I had no unanswered questions about life. It was great. Then the older I got, the more answers lead to more questions, and more potential for frustration. Evolution comes at a cost.

The big insight from this episode for me would be this: Transcend, but include. Differentiate, and embrace. Don't leave parts of yourself behind. Bring them along. Take some time to do the shadow work and bring those parts of yourself along. Allow them to integrate. Address, don't repress. Take those other perspectives, not just the familiar favorites. Breath in suffering, and breath out freedom.

In my NLP practice, I love to help other people recontextualize their difficulties and create powerful futures. But speaking subjectively, ILP continues to provide a deep and robust map that really seems to help me navigate days like these.

Cheers,