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9 out of 9 members found this useful.

cleaning house

Posted July 4th, 2010 by Dee Black

awaken this morning with the strong directive to throw out my old journals .. boxes and boxes of notebooks throughout too many years .. why am i keeping them ? i will never read them again .

so i pull out the boxes from the back of my closet and from the top shelf .. and make many trips to the big recycling bins at the back of the building

one final directive .. post a random selection and be done with it all

so here from over twenty years ago:

chocolate bar dreams

didn't feel like partying last nite
didn't stay long with the crowd after work
cuz wuz fantasizing about chocolate bars
eating devouring chocolate bars
with lotsa and lotsa milk

so on my way home
bought three of my faves and a carton of milk
came home and went for it
yummy yummy chocolate bars
with ice cold milk

and fell asleep channel surfing
with a smile on my face
totally satisfied
cuz what i had craved more than anything else last nite
was chocolate bars chocolate bars chocolate bars
with ice cold milk

. . . slipped off into dreams . . .

at a computer typing up my resume
entering words into columns
words like arrogant ill-behaved undignified

there was something wrong with the software
i was struggling accidentally irretreivably
erasing parts i had worked hard on

finally asked people hanging around in the background
if i could use one of the better computers in the area
and they asked why not?
so i sat down at an available one
with better software and a better printer

but now was on a bus with the others
they wanted to get me a cake and asked me to buy it
i got offended and snuck out the back door
without anyone noticing

driving a car, speeding
suddenly hearing a siren behind me
seeing the flashing lights in the rearview mirror
BUSTED a lead weight in the gut

suddenly walking thru a suburban neighborhood
armchair and luggage falling from an overhead passing plane
looking up, a spotlight shines in the sky
images of faces not unlike the major arcana of tarot cards

i remark to a fellow bystander:
this is too frightening for the children

an older woman, fit and lovely
stands beside her bicycle talking about passion

am frantically trying to park my car
am late meeting diana

working a new job in a quiet big new office
behaving like a very very quiet good girl
they were paying me less but i was glad to have a job

having a bath wearing my corduroy blazer
walking thru a world lit with shiny new dandelions

*

goodbye old journals

 

 

 

 

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3 out of 3 members found this useful.

Freedom!!

Posted July 4th, 2010 by Mary Linda Landauer

 Fly me to the moon and let me sing among the stars:)

 

With much love dear Dee.

 

Mary Linda

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3 out of 3 members found this useful.

Free-falling

Posted July 6th, 2010 by Marita Faaberg

Hello Mary Linda, hello Dee, remember me?

It is amazing watching the Universe doing "its thing". For some reason reading your post, Dee, just put me on the spot, my present spot. Life around here at the moment could be called stressful; I try hard not to call it chaotic because that word is strangely appealing to me at times and at some other times, well...not so much! 

Peaceful, almost idylic place this. (Usually) Living high above the water overlooking the fjord and the distant hills. Wooded area all around, a few houses dotting the landscape. The noises of the city far away. Some zen-inspired park-art down below where the children play. I think they are called "Gates to the sun"; these are hollow granite one-block structures of different sizes.They have become climbing challenges to the children. It is fun to watch them trying to do just that. The sun is bright and clear, Scandinavian. And...my balcony has gone! Instead there is a gaping hole where it used to be and an almost  painful remembrance of things past. Almost completely covered in flowers, an oasis of greenery and delight from which to watch ocean-liners plying in the distance and the myriad other boats of various sizes in between the small islands; the gulls doing their amazing convolutions in the crispy air; woodpeckers noisily anouncing their arrival at the feeding table and at the same time hiding themselves behind the wooden supports, carefully avoiding being seen!  

Horses on the way back to the only farm in this area, clippety-clop, and magpies screeching their usual protest-songs. And...my balcony has really gone! Joni Mitchel's words come into my head, "la, la la, you don't know what you've got til it's gone, la la la" Ah, here, in my face is reality, as it is, but attachment hangs around like an old garment. It has the face of a much-loved old friend. The balcony has really, really gone..there are noises outside of the inminent arrival of a new balcony, but the old memories linger. A brand new balcony..uhmm, renewed attachment perhaps. Meanwhile there is this gaping hole stretching all the way to that point in the horison where the sun gloriously sets in reds, pinks and yellows reflecting its glory unabashed on the fjord's mirror. Balcony or no balcony, (Remembering yesterdays's sunset) Time to free-fall. Looking for Dakini clouds and the promise of rainbows in dark skies beyond the hills. Listening to the sun-tanned tattoed foreign workers singing memories of their native lands..sometimes happy, other times mournful, longing. Singing about their lovers, their children..far away, maybe.Wish I understood Polish! Free-falling..thinking of Dee and Mary Linda and the love overflowing from their hearts and touching me deeply here in this moment..watching the Universe do "its thing"...free-falling... going...gone!

Much love to you both dear heart-friends.

Marita.    

 

 

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open house

Posted July 6th, 2010 by Bill Kilburg

Thanks Dee for sharing a part of your past.

And part of your past was your sharings on the old forum and the honesty and the courage from which you shared from helped open me up to share more about my life.

I so get the contibution those old journals were...and now Dee is "writing " ........

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3 out of 3 members found this useful.

floating in a sea of stars

Posted July 6th, 2010 by Dee Black

wow mary linda .. marita .. bill ...

xo xo xo