My Bad

 I am taught, challenged, and encouraged by your words...Thank You!

What a complicated situation to grow from, and what an elegant launch for all involved peripherally. Since almost all who read this are about trying to grow and expand their consciousness in this life, who can fault anyone for taking the risks associated with involving ourselves with other gifted seekers? Keep risking, as it will only make us all better! Can you imagine even trying to grow without risk, trusting others who will sometimes fail us, etc? Our progress would be shallow, and our awareness dimmed. While I understand the confusion that must arise, and the hurt, it is still very important to stay available to all the hurts that are possible when attempting radical, transformative change in consciousness. Of all the communities I have observed, this may be one great example of where this kind of an issue will yield wholeness, both for Marc and everyone else who dares to take the available insights right in the kisser, chin up, full on. 

Questions : As we define our post-conventionalism, would not grounded humility be a cool requisite ethos for all teachers and leaders? This emphasis seems like it may help remove some of the traps I have observed in other conventions where adulation of someone occurs because their relative "giftedness", which leads to deification, which is power that can run astray, wherein all kinds of shit happens, etc...? If the source of my relative lack of giftedness is the same as someone else's tremendous giftedness, then is it not requisite that humility should be a fundamental tenet of our practice? In this cosmic egalitarianism that we are all plugged into at some level, is there not a fundamental humility called for then (I know, and a fundamental, supernatural power as well, but describing that would wreck my point just now...)? Can grounded humility and self interested behavior involving others  coexist in a healthy person? If someone is not healthy, what can we do to help them, as they possibly are holding our own shadows anyway? Can we simply do away with assigning our rock stars god status (who will often fail  many collective expectations anyway as gods), and respectfully define them as gifted co-seekers, worthy of teaching?  

I for one have little stomach for adulation of anyone individually apart from the collective whole, and yet an increasing, excited, childish enthusiasm for gifted co-seekers, and the tremendous discoveries that they can uniquely illuminate. I see them as no better, nor worse than, myself and yet am deeply, respectfully grateful for the fact that they take big risks on behalf of us all. 

Thank you.

In addition, I am still wondering what it means to genuinely love the extremely gifted and unmanageable people in my life, of which there are a few. And similarly, how to befriend the deep parts of myself that are irrevocably broken, while learning how to spare others of the ill effects of them.

That is such an excellent way of putting it. I have three different friends for whom recent circumstances have revealed to me some very raw, even dangerous, needs/patterns of behavior about them. My first reaction was to push them far away from me to protect myself (and my reputation) from them, but then just as my mental and emotional pushing was about to launch them into the void past my boundaries of care and compassion I lunged out and snatched them back. Where am I going to find perfect people to associate with? How am I going to be part of and build an authentic community if I can't embrace people for the way are? How can I both embrace people as they really are and maintain healthy boundaries from the danger they can represent?

I had the same reaction when I heard about this Gafni thing. I just wanted to push this whole Integral thing away. I mean, Genpo Roshi, Don Beck, and Marc Gafni weren't just mildly associated with Integral....they were prominently featured major players. It begins to say something about the judgement of Ken Wilber and his inner circle and their role as leaders. At the same time, where else can I go to find people so much like myself in so many ways? The integral impulse is alive and real and it's going to emerge through human beings, whether here where it's now so concentrated or somewhere else. It's not going to find a group of perfect humans anywhere in the world to emerge through. So, yes, these here are my imperfect people.

I was reassured when Marc Gafni returned supported by Diane Hamilton. 

And I am reassured that Diane Hamilton has stated her position now.

I don't know that I get the analogy with the loaded gun -- who's pulling the trigger I wonder -- but I'm reminded of the many times I poke criticism at teachers -- nor would I wish to deal with horrid political problems of public opinion. Braver souls go there.

There was a teacher who used to end his retreats with a simple statement:

"We take your criticisms and attacks as support that you really want the best from us."

I can't imagine how hard it must be for everyone involved now -- I hope everyone heals and recovers.

It seems to me that all major religions that have stood the test of time have been based on a foundation of the teaching, learning, and regular practice of good ethics. People can call me old school all they want and I believe that if any individual or community thinks that they can bypass good ethics because they are clever, selfish and arrogant that they will face one huge disgrace after another.

THE TEN GRAVE PRECEPTS

With Commentaries by Bodhidharma and Dogen Zenji

1. Not Killing. Bodhidarma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the everlasting Dharma, not giving rise to the ideal of killing is called the Precept of Not Killing. Dogen Zenji: The Buddha seed grows in accordance with not taking life. Transmit the life of Buddha's wisdom and do not kill.

2. Not Stealing. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the unattainable Dharma, not having thoughts of gaining is called the Precept of Not Stealing. Dogen Zenji: The self and things of the world are just as they are. The gate of emancipation is open.

3. Not Misusing Sex. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the ungilded Dharma, not creating a veneer of attachment is called the Precept of Not Misusing Sex. Dogen Zenji: The Three Wheels are pure and clear. When you have nothing to desire, you follow the way of all Buddhas.

4. Not Lying. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the inexplicable Dharma, not preaching a single word is called the Precept of Not Lying. Dogen Zenji: The Dharma Wheel turns from the beginning. There is neither surplus nor lack. The whole universe is moistened with nectar, and the truth is ready to harvest.

5. Not Giving or Taking Drugs. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the intrinsically pure Dharma, not giving rise to delusions is called the Precept of Not Giving or Taking Drugs. Dogen Zenji: Drugs are not brought in yet. Don't let them invade. That is the great light.

6. Not Discussing Faults of Others. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the flawless Dharma, nor expounding upon error is called the Precept of Not Speaking of Faults of Others. Dogen Zenji: In the Buddha Dharma, there is one path, one Dharma, one realization, one practice. Don't permit fault-finding. Don't permit haphazard talk.

7. Not Praising Yourself While Abusing Others. Bodhidharma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the equitable Dharma, not dwelling upon I against you is called the Precept of Not Praising Yourself while Abusing Others. Dogen Zenji: Buddhas and Ancestral Teachers realize the empty sky and the great earth. When they manifest the noble body, there is neither inside nor outside in emptiness. When they manifest the Dharma body, there is not even a bit of earth on the ground.

8. Not Sparing the Dharma Assets. Bodhidharma. Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the genuine, all-pervading Dharma, not being stingy about a single thing is called the Precept of Not Sparing the Dharma Assets. Dogen Zenji: One phrase, one verse--that is the ten thousand things and one hundred grasses; one dharma, one realization--that is all Buddhas and Ancestral Teachers. Therefore, from the beginning, there has been no stinginess at all.

9. Not Indulging in Anger. Bodhidharma: Self-natue is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the selfless Dharma, not contriving reality for the self is called the Precept of Not Indulging in Anger. Dogen Zenji: Not advancing, not retreating, not real, not empty. There is an ocean of bright clouds. There is an ocean of solemn clouds.

10. Not Defaming the Three Treasures. Bodhidhrma: Self-nature is subtle and mysterious. In the realm of the One, nor holding nihilistic concepts of ordinary beings and sages is called the Precept of Not Defaming the Three Treasures. Dogen Zenji: The teisho of the actual body is the harbour and the weir. This is the most important thing in the world. Its virtue finds its home in the ocean of essential nature. It is beyond explanation. We just accept it with respect and gratitude.

http://www.dharmaweb.org/index.php/Zen_Buddhist_Precepts_-_with_Commentaries

yesterday, i was looking through the catholic religious vocation discernment guide, 'vision', from our church- articles and notices, for commitment to a monastic life. the words move me: things like "are you willing to give up everything?", "preferring christ above all else", "one world, one mission, one person", "are you willing to give your life for christ? The Spirit of God wants to use you!" "Mary said yes to god, will you?"

we know God by faith. by our faith he will save our humanity. (amen)

if this is either inappropriate, or unnecessary, i'm sorry.

deep bows, my best wishes for you...s

A "teacher" again?!?

Let's learn and define integral theory and practice and the role of a "teacher" in it in a different and less overreaching way and work on a declaration of a negotiated agreement as I already supposed and worked a draft out several months ago. You can find it in my earlier postings in my fb account and to Integrales Forum Germany. Whoever is interested can come up to me and I will gladly send it and discuss and share viewpoints not on Gafni but on what can be learned and how to advance.

I am reminded of two things.

1) a quote/paraphrase from a video interview with Jun Po:

"Jun Po asking, “Why are these lamas misbehaving?”

Dalai Lama replies, “Their insight is not deep enough.”

Jun Po says, “But his can’t be. They’ve been in a cave for 20 years, they’ve studied with you for 15 years, their insight has to be deep enough...”

Dalai Lama, “You think that because your insight is not deep enough.”

(Quoting him, but not supportive of his three part story regarding sex with students. Not in radical refusal of it either.)

And 2) a quote from Ken McLeod, Buddhist teacher: “Do not keep anything separate from your practice. If you do, you will have great difficulty later.”

We have the vow (rule: no sex with students) for when we are not fully present with our motivations and actions, for when we believe our own press. When we are fully present, we would never enter into a relationship that will cause more suffering (immediate or in the end) in exchange for short term pleasure or gain, or the illusion of spiritual progress thru intimacy. And when awake, we know that we are still jerks.

It seems to me that if one is committed to waking up, and working with others to wake up, then one's own sexual desire is a key place to shine the light of insight. We must never underestimate the power of the mind to justify and couch our desires. It is ALWAYS better to say no and then feel the pain (of attachment) than to believe the fancy justification and proceed. The more powerful and brilliant the teacher, the more powerful and believable the delusional justification. The more spiritually developed, the more energy that will get expressed thru the shadow. And the less likely they and we will see it that way.

I have a few close friends who are dealing with this issue in their lives.  I have come to see that if one cannot go on a complete sex fast for a year (long enough to really get all the way into the fundamental attachment and actually feel all the pain, separation, craving and despair...), then one is still moved around by this powerful energy and not free nor awake no matter how eloquent and brilliant one's story might be.  This is a possible practice that allows us to look all the way into the abyss of our unexamined aspects and own them.  AND then we also understand that they will never be "cured", they will never go away, but we can have them in awareness and not enact them when they roar into the foreground. 

No matter how fancy the 2nd or 3rd tier visionary shuck and jive may be, in the end, if one cannot freely say no, then one is still attached... Mischief and suffering will result.

Finally, I know from aikido that the moment of failure IS the path to awakening, if one can nakedly embrace and move with it all. And that no matter how off-putting, the input from others is something to receive and embrace. It burns the identity. The more off-putting and unreasonable, the better the fire. May we all move right into failure and burn well.

Oy.

OK -- here's what I've noticed:

The more I do "clean-up" and "deepening" (i.e., spiritual practice), the more of whatever's left (i.e., habituation and shadow material) surfaces/comes to the fore, and with more intensity.  "Karma ripens."  As Ram Dass put it, it's like the moth propelling itself into the flame.  As Ida Rolf put it, "the consequences of our actions return to us more quickly".  Recognition of my own remaining faults (now and progressively, starkly revealed) helps keep me humble about my own "spiritual stature" (although plenty opinionated).

It's how we convert/alchemize the risen material that matters.  For witnesses to the actions of others, the risen material is our reactions to others.  "If you can spot it, you got it."  "All speech is self-description."  Hence, the opportunity, once again, provided by a teacher with "habits".  Don't piss it away in embarrassment and recrimination; use it to stir our own fire.  For the person being witnessed, it's an opportunity to be an example of "taking the bull by the tail and looking matters squarely in the eye" -- transcending the bullshit by acknowledging it, including it and outgrowing it.

Secondly, it takes two to tango -- the myth of power relationships notwithstanding.  Life is no respecter of persons (I have found), and our wounds (when transformed) teach us lessons that can benefit others.  I feel for those with hurt feelings and hold for their graceful and rapid outgrowing of their wounds into greater wisdom, grace and power.   I ain't being airy-fairy, here. I'm saying it the way I see it and mean it.

Finally, as I have seen it, there "often" seems to be a "fatal flaw" that undermines or threatens to undermine any substantially beneficial/transformative influence.  The Kosmos seems to resist change (or to test the hell out of it), using built-in karmic tendencies.  It's frustrating, it's annoying, it's pathetic, it's made me wonder, "Who's writing this script?" and also to say, "Welcome to Earth!!!"

So, where's the "integral" protocol for usefully transforming such occasions? since they may be our fare for the duration?

 Dear Diane,

Thank you for your beauty, courage, and sincere heart. Your authenticity is inspiring. 

Hearing about this situation stirred up difficult emotions within me. I thank you  Diane for expressing yourself with a pureness of heart, and for not giving into the temptation of either blindly defending, psychologically justifying, intellectually rationalizing or just angrily "pulling the trigger".

The WE space in our small community has been "stirred up" in a way. And my questions is... how are we dealing with this situation from an Integral perspective? I think that we have a good idea on how previous tiers and stages may react to this kind of news, but what makes us any different? How do we set the example? How do we not get caught up in the projection games? And most importantly, how do we start the healing process? 

I believe that by openly discussing this situation with the Integral community, we can open the space for deep healing and inner growth. I would further suggest the idea of having an open group forum at ISE 3, for those who wish to discuss the situation (from an Integral perspective) and take part in an opportunity for deep healing in our community. 

Last year I was given the opportunity to volunteer at ISE 2. It was a very beautiful experience, but it was also an experienced that revealed difficult shadow issues (especially in the WE space of the Integral community). I am hoping that this year I have the opportunity to either attend or volunteer at ISE 3, and perhaps take part in a collective healing. A cleansing fire to awaken our true self. 

Much Love,

Claudia    

A.k.A "Uma Devi" 

In normal life people have some level of privacy but in spiritual life which is the true representation of how things really are, there is nowhere to hide. There are no blind spots, nothing that you can call private. Transparency is the rule of the day. All is seen, whether you like it or not, the good with the bad. In religious terms it means God always sees you. Nothing is hidden from sight. What you speak in closed quarters will be shouted out from the rooftops. You know how it goes. Many of of us feel that this is true and therefore know it to be futile to hold up any kind of facade of secrecy. Many others demand the right to privacy, to a private life, far away from the probing eyes and ears of media-news. Somehow the truth usually comes out in the end anyway. Still others don't want to hear or see the truth when it presents itself, choosing to ignore it or turn away from it, believing somehow if they persist long enough the truth will go away, or cease to ever have existed.

Choosing to face the truth that nothing is hidden we come to terms with the fact that we do not have a private life. Not towards God and not towards our other, our neighbor. We owe up the awful things we and others have done, learn, repent (which only means that we are sorry for the hurt we've caused) and move on. We come to see that our life is not special. All human beings share the same make-up, we all stand under the same rule. No one is exempt from human decency and dignity.

Living a life of transparency is wonderful! Nothing to hide and nothing to fear. An open book for others to read their own story; the human story. We share all things and as such we all carry the responsibility and accountability for all things co-jointly.

www.aikidoalive.co.uk

http://naturalfreedom.weebly.com/index.html

I've just blogged about this:

http://integrallife.com/member/pelle-billing/blog/sex-teachers-and-conduct

--

 Gender Liberation Beyond Feminism

This isn't meant to be cynical, it truly isn't. It just seems to me that it's more the norm than the exception that charismatic, powerful alpha males in leadership positions use their energy in these predictable ways. From an upper-right perspective, perhaps high levels of dopamine and testosterone create an internal reality where these behaviors are almost impossible to avoid.

I 've had my own internal reality and outward behavior affected by other neuro-endocrine conditions such as low blood sugar, depression, low thyroid.... (not nearly as enjoyable as rampant horniness.) Having had some serious bouts with chronic disease, I have experienced how the body can take you places your self-concept has a difficult time accepting, and that this is maybe an important part of the journey as well.

I don't mean to sound too deterministic, but on the other hand, many Integral people may be coming from the cultural supposition that we have more self-control and agency than we are truly capable of.

Not entirely sure what conclusion could be drawn from this...

Sometimes I feel like writing in, "Geezus H. Christ (on a crutch) people!"  I don't because I figure I'll just be dumped or passed off as another disgruntled type.   

Sometimes it seems that we all need to just get in a big naked pile, do each other and everybody else that gets in the way and get over ourselves.  Smash our pedestals.  Forgive ourselves and each other for being human, which is a very messy business.  Take a high colonic.  Stop trying to justify our stances as the moral high ground.  Quit with the "my satori is deeper than your satori."  Stop pretending "divine pride" is anything more that a convoluted way at looking at an expanding ego.

Sometimes I feel like writing to Integral that its time to disband, stop trying to protect your illusion of being on the "cutting edge of societal evolution," to quote Rush Limbaugh, go back home and sell shoes.

I don't care about Gafni and his 50-some odd justifications for "boinking" powerful women.  I listened to the guy and personally don't like him (that's "trench" lingo for "we don't resonate").  Now that's just on a relative scale.  I can do absolute too and give him his due for being great and wonderful, I just can;t get past his use of the word "gorgeousness."  Yeah, petty, I know.     

Gawd that felt good!  Talk about "high colonics."

Dear Diane,

My deepest apologies, I had no idea how bad the situation actually was. I confess, I stood up for Rabbi Gafni for some time, remaining clear that I knew very little of him. I did this because I have seen others needlessly abused, in the past, for something blown way out of proportion. I understand now that those situations were entirely different from what you refer to, in not quite enough detail, here. I respect and admire the courage it must have taken to write even this. You have my blessing, and my permission.

With Deep Love,

Shikha