Esoteric Christianity

This is contemplation:

My higher mind is being held in check by my animal mind which is overly aware of threats to our collective faith choices. While I recognize that there were some valuable things said here, they, frankly, went in one ear and out the other, because there was only enough room in my walnut sized awareness to hear Ken blaming Hiroshima on the Christians. I'll have to wait a few days and try and manage this threat before I can listen to it again and try and get the good stuff out of it.

That's what it's like to be me. It sucks. So much time and energy is wasted by this constant processing.

The reason I'm calling that contemplation is because of the audios I listened to yesterday at Boulder Integral of Richard Rohr. He made it clear that the mind watching itself and getting perspective on what it is doing IS contemplation. I had really been hoping that contemplation would be the absence of such horrible, ghastly phantasmagorical visions. But I'm really getting now that it isn't. I also realize that I've been able to do this mostly constantly for quite some time now. I'm not sure when this became constant, instead of occasional or rarely, but it may have been around the time I was doing the introductory sessions with Holosync. This all makes sense.

So!

That means: I get to be certifiably crazy (having a form of PTSD) and also be highly developed and potentially enlightened. Just the way I am. Without change or healing. Fuck. What a let down.

I really like Rollie, and his notation about the Feast of the Transfiguration and the memorial to Hiroshima was deeply poignant. These are the extremes. After that, Ken made his comment and the rest is blurry.