Role of Cosmology in Development

This last year, more than ever, I've recognized my need for thought forms. Not only have I objectified thought forms, but I've been able to objectify my need for them. The single most important factor in becoming able to do that has been Magic.

This week, I read William G. Gray's shortened version of the cosmology of "Comte de Gabalis" by an unknown/vague/mysterious author. And, aside from the horridly parochial and sexist bits, I could feel myself loving it. I had a distinct feeling of "coming home". What is this?

I'm seeing now that I had alot of trouble with the Christian cosmology when I first converted because it didn't adequately explain my interior experience. I loved Jesus and all that, but the whole sinful nature thing just didn't ring true for me and there was a huge disconnect. I allowed it to take the position of "truth" in my life as a way of gaining the benefits of the whole package while understanding Jesus as someone who understood us as individuals who may have different drives other than the usual base drives. Regardless of what the Old, Old Story said, Jesus knew me, and He knew that I wasn't like that.

But this one explains my inward drives and ambivalence much better. Humanity was originally intended for "Cosmation" or a kind of Heavenly Co-Creation, and we were kindof semi-angelic and eternal. Then, we decided we wanted to mate like the animals and we became animals. This diverted and devolved the creation process so that we created only babies and could no longer create beautiful systems of order and life. We no longer perceived the Higher and Interior levels of reality because our thought-forms were ground down to being all about food, shelter, mating and fighting. Our physical forms became animal instead of ... whatever they were ... and if we didn't focus on those things, we faced starvation, exposure, isolation and early suffering and death - things which were unknown to us before.

I can tell that my ego is finding great comfort in this story. The burden of understanding and changing my ego limitations around such things as food, shelter and protection is so great that I am usually simply exhausted by it. I want to lay my head down and stop trying. It's just too hard. This cosmology acts as a Sanctuary within which I can find rest from the struggle of trying to change, and yet still look towards something better. The something better is the Real work of Cosmation - which names what I've always wanted, even from the beginning of my memory. My ego's preference to get away from killing/death, reproduction, degrading servitude, eating and eliminating and mating games is explained and indulged here, unlike in the Christian Creation Story.

Both stories contain their own absurdities - but they don't seem to exist to explain what's "out there" in a way that makes sense. They seem to have been created to explain interiors.

--oOo--

Which Cosmology(ies) have you felt drawn to and what do you think is happening inside you when you are?