can i get a little perspective on this?

Hi Kelly,

I just wrote this on FB but your thread inspired me.  I don't know how helpful i can be to you at this moment because i feel incredibly angry.  I am angry that we cannot see what we are doing here with the passion and determination that we are suppose to assume with making our way in the world.  Money, Power, Esteem all juicy and yummy emotions and desires that when viewed through another lens are not at all evil or something we should avoid.  We have to learn to trust what we have included but we also must realize that we will always be an "I", that "I" must assume the role and use whatever materials this earth provides.

I know for me, it began as just a distaste for materialism but when that changed, when i could no longer see that without sympathy and  relative importance i attempted to give it to others who had already developed the skills.  It is one of those things that require practice, but the other aspect is that damned second-guessing of oneself.  As if I had no right to expression that did not include you.  I always thought it was more important for others to win...i didn't care about that.  But now winning means something that is much bigger than me, something that i find incredibly important.  Our aggression must take the form of pushing and pulling that moves a very large mass.

From FB:  I just realized as I read your comments that this is the same distaste for Orange that I experience. I am not saying that is what you are expressing here, but I recognize it because I find what we are doing on IL soooo freakin important. It seems to me that most of us have lived in Theory-Land enjoying the beauty of images and musing but when it comes down to solidifying anything or giving expression to our dreaming we (moreso I) fall right back down on our asses. I have invested heavily in everything Ken has written about, there is a part of me that has not come online (call it Red/Orange), but the role has some aggression.

Red and Orange aggression arises from emotions that are ordered according to individual needs, 2nd tier needs appear the same so we cautiously approach this. There is some kind of identity crisis that needs to be resolved, emotions and desires have to synchronize with a self sense who has included many selves but represented as an “I”. The question of aggression is not whether justified…it is whether it is higher.

I also need to mention that your comment about “Noise”, infuriates me. WTF!

i need perspective on a lot of things.  just not feeling well these days.  not at all. 

If you attempt to become the embodiment of everyone's shadow do not be surprised if you end up shouting like Michael Palin in Monty Python and the Holy Grail: "Help! Help! I'm being repressed!"

There must be something positive about your own rejected demons, some small way of embracing what you deplore, transforming part of it to your service rather than giving it more ammunition by simply opposing it. The cold mechanical ITS of life are begging for some hidden magic which makes it all bearable, your art and mind and soul's sublimation of the world's sorrow, internally and externally.

It wouldn't be the world we know without separation, life living on other life, and loss. That constant, however, is just the foreground of a wonder--cosmic wonder and perfect rapture. Eternity is in love with the forms of time. But to engage them in this way there is a great shattering. What the ego wants is for these imperfect forms to reflect something ego itself won't even achieve, namely, Oneness with the All. It is this small self which points so fiercely at these things that are more that it can chew to avoid the simple truth that the primary obstacle is itself. If higher consciousness is to be any sort of guide out of or through the troubles of life we must always suspect that we are mistakenly sitting on a whale (ego,) while fishing for minnows (railing at samsara.)