Opening to Connect with Others: a Learned Skill

I especially liked Huy’s examples of the usefulness of being aware of the subtle body such as coming home and feeling contracted and through that awareness being able to open back up.  I have found this skill especially valuable in working with my patients.  If I am frustrated or upset, patients sense it right away so the connection that makes for the best care is missing.  So, Huy’s advice of doing the physical and mental work to get open before going to the next patient is one I do regularly. 

  However, in creating this “opening”, I have not found the physical aspects of slowing my breathing, physical relaxation, etc to be fast enough to be helpful, even though I’ve practiced them a long time.  On the other hand, at one point practicing physical relaxation enabled me to be able to make the jump to emotional or subtle body relaxation.  I actually call it “dissolving” or “releasing” since in doing this I first feel where I’m too tight, constricted, or roiled emotionally and then through that interior skill I’m generally able dissolve it away similar to a physical tension.  However, it only takes seconds to a minute or so since I’m acting more directly on the emotional source rather than the physical effect.  Thus, I can open more quickly so I can connect better with the next patient.

  Basically this appears to be a development step due to long hours spent in learning physical relaxation and interior work while doing Tai Chi.  Prior to this development, I felt “at effect” or helpless at times in the face of strong emotions; they were me.  Now they are a part of me and so I’m able to actually work with them as if they were more objective objects and dissolve them, etc.  Thus, this would appear to fall under the “transcended and included” arena, at least for some aspects of this area.  However, only my shadow knows what else lurks in there that will bite me on the ass when I least expect it, so I’ll keep on keeping on the evolutionary path.

Yours,

Mike Breland