New to Integral Life


I am restless, irritable, and discontent.  I am letting outside forces rule me.  I want so much to clear my mind, but find difficulty with the old tapes continually running through my mind. 

As I navigate through this website, I am afraid...afraid of who will read what I write, afraid of what I might be lacking knowledge of, and afraid of what I already know, but choose to not practice. 

This probably makes no sense, but as of this moment, my mind is full and what comes out is just the first thought, the fore-front.  Asking about Beauty is frightening.  I put so much emphasis on outer beauty, but know I am searching for inner beauty.  Do I have either?  I don't know right now.  I am an angry person.  A sad person.  My inner-beauty is drowning in pain and my outer beauty is fading with years and stress.