Impeccable moments

During our instructor training at the Systema Summit of Masters camp in Northern Ontario this summer Konstantin mentioned several times how it is important to pay attention for the “impeccable moments” that we experience. They may be obvious to everyone around you, but if you are not aware of them and appreciating them they will not help you to further your understanding or abilities.

All of our training is practice, just like everything else we do in our lives. There is always a gap between the ideal, the perfection that we hope and strive for and want to become and accomplish. That’s why we train, why we keep breathing, pushing, punching, rolling, wrestling, pushing each other’s limits and edges while we hold a safe space for people to practice not being safe. Through all of it, some impeccable moments come through.

Impeccable moments are those moments when the effort of practicing and trying to “get it right” fall away. The tension between what you are trying to make happen and what is happening disappears. This doesn’t mean that you necessarily accomplish what you want. It means that you have let go of your expectation of accomplishment. There is no way to plan or prepare for these moments. You can only keep practicing. As my teacher Vali said, “If you don’t understand why we are doing these exercises, keep practicing them”.

Systema is not unique in this regard. The way that Systema is unique is the methods of breathing, movement, body position and relaxation that allows each individual human being to know themselves, understand themselves, and become the most fulfilled human being possible, body mind and spirit. The shadow is also explicitly recognized, accepted and worked with.

Systema starts in the body. It is not sitting meditation, it is engaging with the world as it unfolds, as we are participating in the unfolding. As the body relaxes, begins to recognize and become familiar with its own patterns, its own strengths and weaknesses and capacities, becomes more free and capable, so does the mind. So does the spirit.

I experienced an impeccable moment today during my morning practice. I was outside on a baseball diamond. Breathing is the foundation of Systema and I was walking barefoot across the infield gravel, walking, slowly and consciously lifting each foot in turn, placing it back on the ground, inhaling and exhaling with each step. After a short time I closed my eyes. A new set of circumstances, a different set of abilities available to me now. Tension levels shot up as I worried about walking into the fence, tripping, losing my balance and falling - being laughed at by the neighbors. My body stiffened as I tried to rely on senses and feeling other than sight to navigate me. I kept inhaling through my nose as I lifted a foot, exhaling gently as I placed it down, then the next one, then the next. A few times I stopped to simply tense up my entire body on an inhale, relax it on an exhale so that I could more fully understand where my fear was manifesting as tension, where my tension was being interpreted as fear. After a short time I became more comfortable with what I was doing. It seemed easier. I started walking backward, eyes still closed. More tension, more fear. Breathe with it.

By the time I was done I was actually pretty relaxed and confident. I decided to finish my practice by simply climbing over the chain link fence with my eyes closed. Climbing it was the easy part. So was the decision to jump from the top down to the other side. It was only four feet after all….

Because I had my eyes closed for the last half hour I didn’t know that there was a large cast concrete garbage receptacle with a steel lid directly on the other side of the fence. Obviously I landed on it, quite unexpectedly. In the moment of contact, with my right foot first, there was no tension, no “Oh, my God” experience. I simply exhaled through my mouth in a calm, relaxed way. My left knee came down onto the lid as well while I was still exhaling.

The surprise did prompt me to open my eyes. I looked around with curiousity, kept breathing, climbed down and continued walking, one breath in per step, one breath out per step. I was completely comfortable with everything that had happened, even though I had been surprised. I had stayed relaxed and allowed what was happening to happen, while I moved through it as appropriately and freely as I could. An impeccable moment.