The Contemplative Way Forward for Christian Faith

Hia.

I have been a Christian for over 30 years, but I converted when I was 15.  I was ready for the Amber wave of development, but not the same Amber that most think of.  My Mother was an Atheist, and I had to rebel to "give my life to Jesus Christ".  This rebellion wasn't just, "Oooh, this will make her mad! Hee-hee!"  It was a heart-in-my-throat terror that I would be thrown out on the street or refused all support save dry bread and water and a blanket in the back corner of the yard.  I wasn't joining a majority of local people that I looked up to.  I loathed "Church", and told my friend the "Christian" that I wouldn't play ball unless I would be allowed to attempt to change the loveless and lame Church into something worth being a part of.  He assured me that Jesus was into that.  I didn't want to be caught dead carrying a "Bible".  None of that stuff appealed to me.  This decision was hardcore for me.  It always has been. 

But this year, I realized that I've left something behind.  Even tho I learned how to sacrifice for God and become humble and believe in the Virgin Birth and the Resurrection and understand complex Theology and get through the Dark Night and come out in Emergent, I never got into praying for miracles.   Even tho "magical thinking" can be found within the Church, I didn't want to practice it there.  The Church's form of it was just too repulsive to me to bend into.  I found the emphasis on materialism and personal comfort and safety vulgar and primitive.  I wanted my Christianity to be Glorious and Virtuous and High and Beautiful.  Not disconnected from this world, but at least concerned about goodness in it instead of cheap thrills and comforts.  The Jim and Tammy-Fae Bakkers of this world didn't appeal to me - ever. 

But I've confused Magical Thinking with the self-centric, materialistic values that were usually expressed within it.  I didn't separate the two.  Until now.  Now, I recognize that my disorder consists of Shadowing an entire developmental level.  I am not only prevented from putting forth my self-centered values and intentions into the World, but my world- and Kosmo-centric ones as well.  Oooops!  I cannot "imagine" what I can do to make the world a better place besides just trying to be a good person.  That's my most powerful weapon.  And it's useless in many circumstances.  Sometimes we are required to "stretch out our hand" and make something happen.  Something big.  Something risky that everyone is going to see and have to make a decision about.  But I am missing that skill.  Completely.  When I try, it seems like I'm invisible.  No one takes notice.  I can work hard for weeks or months on a project and it will be totally ignored.  I just don't know how to do it. 

The skill to do these things does not only come from some evolved and progressive 2nd Tier emergence.  It comes from the raw faith that I can make something happen and that that is a good thing.  It's so simple, it's absurd.  It's totally infantile development and totally ignored by name in the Integral Spiritual Perspective. 

What is up with that? 

I think that if the folks at ISC were to spend 5 days without this simple faith, they would understand it's significance.  But it is so fundamental that it isn't even cognitive and isn't easily observed. 

What about the Way Backwards?  The Christian Faith has truly evolved through this level and beyond, integrating it's valuable impact while leaving behind the waste.  Jesus was all about that.  "Don't worry about what you will eat or what you will wear - but feed the hungry and you have fed Me."  What if we didn't even have the faith that we could organize effectively enough to feed the hungry?  Imagine what this world would be like if the Church didn't feed the hungry!  Holy crap!  It would have all been over so long ago!  But it's invisible.  We don't think about it.  Truly, it is taken for granted. 

Take it from someone who is missing something fundamental: we can't leave the fundamentals behind.  Don't lobotomize the Church.

~J

Well said, Peter.  I forwarded your comments.  The good news is that people are coming to the contemplative path; the evolutionary impulse pulls us from our fear and complacency and invites us to enact a 21st century vision interior and exterior Christian practice.   The interior castle waits.  Thank you for your thoughts.

Peace,

Leslie