rebecca kerschen

sense of humour? it is the salt of existence. without it the world would have got utterly out of balance-it is unbalanced enough already-and rushed to blazes long ago...SRI AUROBINDO; letters on yoga,1958

i have been a seeker since childhood and had my first spiritual experience through a dream at the age of four.  i was raised by a highly intelligent creative woman who also sufferred from intense depression and probably various other mental disorders for which there was no help in the 50's.  as the eldest (of seven children) i took on the mother role while caring for my mother as well.  this led me to question the laws of God and research the what, why, and if of things at an early age.  at the age of 15 i completely rebelled and ran away from home.  i began experimenting with LSD in it's purest form at 16 and after that it was hard to go back to the farm (so to speak).   at eighteen i met an eastern DADAJI whom had just come to america and settled in the heartland.  he gave me my first MANTRA and through the practice of meditation i found a way out of the drug scene.  i was able to get into a university for a brief period and then travelled to the west coast and lived in san fran for a few years.  after that, i moved to the mountains in new mexico where i read the CARLOS CASTENEDA BOOKS and J.KRISHNAMURTI.  i returned to the midwest after receiving a despondent letter from my mother.  there, i met a man and raised four children.  i have always looked for balance in my life and yet seem to have drawn much drama.  in 1990 on jan. 1st. at 5 o'clock in the morning, i had a spiritual awakening.  a great weight of past hurt and guilt was lifted from my physical, mental and spiritual self (mind, body and soul).  i am still struggling with many issues from my childhood, but have a peace about my existence, and a Divineness that is at my very core.  It connects me with every sentient being in the universe.  i have read and been a part of seekers from all over the world, and read more books than i can even say, but still, i believe that what makes us whole and holy is the most simple concepts and thoughts.  so simple, in fact, that the MOST simple person of this earth would be able to grasp it.  i have continued to question and seek all of my life and find that peace and joy come from service in LOVE.  my only truth is that God is LOVE.  i call myself a researcher of truth and yet i realize that TRUTH is elusive and the process of SEEKING is what matters.  i believe that love is all that really matters and of course compassion and a sense of humor should follow.  when i become depressed about all of the sufferring in this world, i look to the beauty and innocence of children and animals and i pray; because, meditation and prayer for those in need is most often all there is that we can truly "accomplish" in this world.  i believe that we can change the world with our prayers or "intention of thought" and "direction of energy," and i devote my time to that simple practice.  i enjoy everything the world has to offer, such as art, music, and friendship, but believe that J.KRISHNAMURTI had it right (when i read him back in 1972) when he wrote, "Be of the world but not in the world."  i have been an actress for 35 years and a writer for 20, and a painter for 28.  i am currently reading SRI AUROBINDO, or the ADVENTURE of CONSCIOUSNESS by SATPREM.  i have learned so much from this website (even what little time i have to put into it) and appreciate all that KEN WILBUR and his "PEOPLE" have done to create it!