Intimacy

Okay, I will try to help.  First I will try and comment on my response to what you have already contributed.  Then I have a suggestion or two of my own.

Part 1:  A Deconstruction

When a man evolves as an intimate being, he dis-identifies with his masculine role.  He befriends the feminine side of his nature.  He gets rid of his assumptions.  But he shouldn't stop here.  There are facades in facades that we can peel away.  Who AM I REALLY??!

Yes I agree.  An integration of the masculine and feminine aspects is obviously closer to the ideal.  Which I think is an endless process.  And I think for men, we have to be careful that we aren't just superficially integrating our feminine sides.  I think this is a particular pitfall along an integral path.  We can be so encouraged to once again take up our masculine sides that I think at times we forget the value of some of those feminine aspects we have gottan in touch with.  (I should note, when I say "we" I suppose I really mean "I" as this is my experience)  I think the term flex-flow can be adopted to one way of being we might be looking for.  We have to know when to flex, stand strong, be a rock.  And we have to know when to dissolve, be the current, get absorbed in the other.  For myself, spiritually this relates to learning how to know when to emphasize God in 1st person as opposed to God in 2nd person.  Learning to skillfully manifest and how to skillfully remain unmanifest is also a key. 

Part 2:  Healing powerlessness- the glass ceiling 

Empathy.  Receptivity.  Giving.  Integrity.  Authenticity.  I point to qualities that are necessary to support the healing of shadow elements of powerlessness in one's self and their partner.  Powerlessness is the suicide of relationships.  Being willing to be touched when you've fallen apart.  Being willing to touch when you've fallen apart.  Be willing to overcome the masculine shadow element of disposability.  A new way of surrender.  

Yes and also remembering when not to surrender is key as well I think, particularly in relationships.  Being able to say no and draw boundaries still.  But not haphazardly and unintelligently of course.

Part 3:  Negotiating opportunities  

Honoring the psychological, socio-cultural, biological, and spiritual aspects of your relationship requires courage and stamina.  The moment when you lose a certain innocence is a moment maturity can kick in.  It is a stretching of capacity to be able to hold new levels of love and compassion.  This becomes an art form in negotiation during duress and fragmental triggering of shadow elements.  

Yes, lol.  Nothing else to add here at the moment.

Okay my additions.

Part 4: A listening approach

I think that a listen first attitude is extremely beneficial to intimacy.  It should be kept clear that listening doesn't mean always agreeing.  It doesn't mean flaking out and always sacrificing individuality.  What it means is clearly attempting to "hear" where your partner is coming from.  Before intimacy of any depth is feasible, you must know what depth you are at already.  Listening is a doorway into another's interior.  (Or put another way it is a recpetor to feel the universe reflected back upon you) Listening is a sacred human characteristic.  It is essential to overcoming duality whenever a "we" is present.  Listening is also one of those ever developing qualities I believe.  Development of the subtle body corresponds to being able to hear another more subtley.  Certainly, listening must also be kept in mind as developmental.  As we develop, new ways and entire world's and vocabularies come into being.  Listening, I believe, is the most crucial aspect of the Interpersonal line.  This also clearly links it in with the emotional line.  The links could continually be stated.

Part 5: Laughter/Play/Forgiveness

In my opinion, this is the most crucial aspect of cultivating intimacy.  Part of play is forgetting the rules.  Forgetting that there are (or remembering that there aren't) any shoulds.  Play has a sense of daring and adventure.  Play is divinely romantic.  Taking one's self (small self/ frontal self) less seriously.  Fucking up writes a more interesting chapter.  Play can be reckless.  Play is innocent and as a result more fearless.  Scars are funny and pain leads to tears which dissolves into laughter and light.  Remembering that there is no where to get to.  I am already here.  We are at the destination and so we play.  And we laugh.  We at some point have to give up trying to get intimacy.  We already have it.  Intimacy is a recognition and a waking up and a discovery.  It is not strictly a construction.  And forgiveness is also absolutely essential.  Forgiveness for oneself and forgiveness for one's partner.  To brush off the dust and keep playing.  (Shadow process to help make sure we are really seeing all the residue)  Lila (divine play) is sexy.  And fun.  And every adjective we have.  And more.  Learning the tango couldn't hurt either.

A big kiss for you Scott!  Right on your forehead/third-eye. 

 "feelin' you are here again. hot on my skin again.
feelin good a thing i'd never known before
what does it mean to feel? millions of dreams come real
a feelin' in my soul i'd never felt before... mmm..."