Robert Augustus Masters on Intimacy
We could try to live our life numb, fragmented, and in denial but it might be difficult to hold these qualities in a true intimate relationship. If such a transparent, vulnerable, no exit relationship is working, our shadows and neurosis will come to the surface to be healed. It sounds like a crazy arrangement. The deeper we love the more the worst in us arises. Our challenge seems to be to not to allow our dark parts to harm the one we love the most.
Robert’s work involves becoming more intimate with all parts, states, and qualities of our self including our anger, fear, sadness, shame, guilt, self criticism, and self hatred. We can not get rid of these and need not make these our leaders; but we need to know how to relate with them in a healthy way. Robert said that he only sees his psychotherapy clients a few times and I would like to believe that he gets good results this quickly. Has anyone worked with him? He invites us to equally value the personal, relational, and transcendent.
In a relationship there is connection and also separation. A good practice in a relationship is to allow a person to be who she is and hold her in a safe place of love. A good motivation for a relationship is to serve the World together.
Terry Patten is calling for a sangha where PEERS can be together in transparency, vulnerability, self awareness, strength, and inspiration for the World. A sangha of shared intimacy sounds like a most beautiful vision to me. Why not start right now with all the guests on these talks? Are they willing to walk the talk together? Are they willing to allow us to be with them as peers to heal, grow, and serve the World together? These are actual questions. I trust that such a bright and beautiful day is fast approaching.
A caution; as we become more and more open, sensitive and vulnerable we also need to have groundedness, boundaries, strength, power, spaciousness, and some numbness in order to survive in the sometimes painful and messy world of samsara. This business of life seems like a narrow line to walk well.
I found this talk to be a great blessing. Thank you.