Suffering

We all have needs, wants, and goals we want to fulfill. In our life we win some and we lose some. When some of us win we take the credit and when we lose we shrug it off maybe by blaming someone or something outside of our self. Then we continue to go on our way of trying to meet our needs.

It is more difficult for some of us. When we win we feel that we have just been lucky and when we lose we blame our self. We turn within and become more aware of our self. We have negative thoughts and beliefs which lead to negative feelings which lead us to self defeating behaviors like giving up and withdrawing. As we continue to be more and more painfully aware of our self we experience self-blame, self-castigation, fearfulness of negative judgment, and shame. This can become a very painful long-term negative feedback loop. We can try to break it at any of its chains:

·        We can try again, do something important for us, win, and consciously take credit for this.

·        If we lose we can place the blame outside of our self or better yet not have to place any blame and go back to above.

·        When we lose we should not place our awareness on our self but on how we can better approach the World to win.

·        We can question and refute our negative thoughts and beliefs. Let us make a decision to believe that we are a person who can meet his needs. This belief will encourage our self to keep trying.

·        If we can convince our self that we can and will meet our needs we will feel better. The better we feel the more energy we will have to keep trying.

·        We can reach out for help, advice, and support rather than withdrawing.

·        Rather than placing too much of our awareness on our self which tends to get us into trouble with self-blame, self-castigation, fear of negative judgment, and shame we can place our awareness on helping others and meeting our needs in the World.

• Having met our most important needs we can go on to help others meet theirs.