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Regarding Gafni Round Two

Posted September 15th, 2011 by Steve Self in Commentary

 Freedom Inside "No"


I am reminded of two things.
1) a quote/paraphrase from a video interview with Jun Po:
"Jun Po asking, “Why are these lamas misbehaving?”
Dalai Lama replies, “Their insight is not deep enough.”
Jun Po says, “But his can’t be. They’ve been in a cave for 20 years, they’ve studied with you for 15 years, their insight has to be deep enough...”
Dalai Lama, “You think that because your insight is not deep enough.”
(Quoting him, but not supportive of his three part story regarding sex with students. Not in radical refusal of it either.)

 

And 2) a quote from Ken McLeod, Buddhist teacher: “Do not keep anything separate from your practice. If you do, you will have great difficulty later.”

 

We have the vow (rule: no sex with students) for when we are not fully present with our motivations and actions, for when we believe our own press. When we are fully present, we would never enter into a relationship that will cause more suffering (immediate or in the end) in exchange for short term pleasure or gain, or the illusion of spiritual progress thru intimacy. And when awake, we know that we are still jerks.
It seems to me that if one is committed to waking up, and working with others to wake up, then one's own sexual desire is a key place to shine the light of insight. We must never underestimate the power of the mind to justify and couch our desires. It is ALWAYS better to say no and then feel the pain (of attachment) than to believe the fancy justification and proceed. The more powerful and brilliant the teacher, the more powerful and believable the delusional justification. The more spiritually developed, the more energy that will get expressed thru the shadow. And the less likely they and we will see it that way.
I have a few close friends who are dealing with this issue in their lives.  I have come to see that if one cannot go on a complete sex fast for a year (long enough to really get all the way into the fundamental attachment and actually feel all the pain, separation, craving and despair...), then one is still moved around by this powerful energy and not free nor awake no matter how eloquent and brilliant one's story might be.  This is a possible practice that allows us to look all the way into the abyss of our unexamined aspects and own them.  AND then we also understand that they will never be "cured", they will never go away, but we can have them in awareness and not enact them when they roar into the foreground. 
No matter how fancy the 2nd or 3rd tier visionary shuck and jive may be, in the end, if one cannot freely say no, then one is still attached... Mischief and suffering will result.
Finally, I know from aikido that the moment of failure IS the path to awakening, if one can nakedly embrace and move with it all. And that no matter how off-putting, the input from others is something to receive and embrace. It burns the identity. The more off-putting and unreasonable, the better the fire. May we all move right into failure and burn well.

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Cheers...Mate!

Posted September 15th, 2011 by vernpeace

"when awake, we know that we are still jerks."

 

Hi Steve, those...words...will...bring

...a...smile...to...my...face...every...time

...I...remember...them!

peace&love...vern

p.s...Blessings...and...Marvelousness...is

...in...deed...too!

 

 

                 

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Health

Posted September 16th, 2011 by stefano

If they will never go away, I'd want to look at traditions/schools that work with using them in a healthy way.

We can't stop eating, we just need to know how to eat healthy.

This isn't like smoking where people can go their whole lives without ever smoking.  Sexuality is a basic component of our existence.  It is very powerful.  If a spiritual practice doesn't know how to channel it all in a healthy way, how to handle it wisely, then it might just make things worse.  Gafni talks so often about sex and love, and yet that has become his downfall, repeatedly.  Whatever he was teaching, wasn't working.

And this is the problem for everybody -- there are lots of teachers and ideas about how to work with sexual forces. But which ones are healthy?  Which ones screw up the students?