Physical symptoms of the shadow

Hi Troy,

  I had a breakthrough in this when I read the Healthy and Unhealthy development portions in Integral Spirituality.  I really got in touch with the 321 process there and practiced it on my lower back.  

I herniated 2 discs in my lower back about 6 years ago.  So this is chronic pain.  Right now it doesn't really hinder me in any way , but I still have lower back tightness and some loss of range of motion.  So I did the 321 process on my back, and there was a loosening experience, but MOST important, I actually saw the possibility of my back being fully healed.  Like it was no big deal.  My shadow repression up to that point wouldn't even allow me to see that.  

So what I first did was get in touch with the experience of my back.  So I felt the tightness that is really kinda unconscious to me at this point, so I got conscious to it.  And right then, I looked at how "I" was relating to that feeling.  That physical experience, and there was this sublte kind of disappointment.  So I saw that my experience of disappointment, kinda co-arose with getting present to my back tightness.  Then I did the 321 process on that disappointment.  It was connected to much of my own self-loathing, or self-disappointment, my desire to always push myself to make up for my self-imposed inadequecies.  After I went through the 321 process on it, my relationship to my back opened up, and I experienced the freedom and the possibility of being completely healed.  

Brieftly, the 321 process that I did, (I'm not sure if this is correct because I haven't been formally trained in it, but this was it) saw the disappointment from the third person.  So I just looked at it empiraclly, saw the qualities.  Then I looked at it in the 2nd person.  I actually imagined it in the seat next to me and kinda talked to it.  I was really upset with the disappointment in the 2nd person.  Then I took on the disappontment and allow myself to be it.  I really owned it, and kept owning it until I could just be comfortable, being disappointment, and experiencing the disappointment as my own.  I saw that being disappointed if fine, there's nothing wrong with it, its an experience that I go through from time to time.  And it's beautiful as an experience.  And when I went through that last part, the possibility of being healed spontanious arose.  

Thats it.  I hope that provided some openings for you to step into.  

If you do do the 321 process on your spasms, please share how it went for you, if it was successful or not.  This was a fairly profound experience for me, so it would be cool if you experienced it too.