Perspective Shift:
- You don’t defeat your enemy by destroying them, but by integrating their reflection. Projection always leaves a wake. The parts of ourselves we refuse to own get cast as villains in others. If you want to fight MAGA (or the left, or your ex, or your parents), start by asking: “What part of me am I seeing in them that I’m refusing to see in myself?”
- Developmental stages aren’t beliefs — they’re the lenses we interpret our world through. People don’t disagree because they’re stupid. They disagree because they are making meaning through different structures of mind. A rule-based amber lens interprets “do unto others” very differently than a rational orange lens or a pluralistic green one. Without understanding structure, content debates go nowhere.
- Wholeness isn’t a state — it’s a direction. We don’t “achieve” wholeness once and for all. Wholeness unfolds in three dimensions: presence (deep here-and-now awareness), healing (recovering lost or fragmented parts), and growth (moving toward fuller integration). To be whole is to stay in motion toward integrity, not perfection.
- Hyperobjects shape us — even when we can’t see them. Culture, development, identity — these are hyperobjects: too large, distributed, and entangled in time to be fully perceived. We live inside these systems, and they shape how we think, feel, and act. True transformation begins when we realize we’re not looking at the world, we’re looking through it.
In today’s deeply divided world—marked by polarized politics, global tensions, and fractured communities—is the aspiration for “wholeness” realistic or even desirable? In this thought-provoking episode of Integral Edge, Keith Martin-Smith sits down with executive coach and consciousness explorer David Arrell to explore what it truly means to become whole, both personally and collectively, amid ongoing division and conflict.
The conversation begins by acknowledging an uncomfortable truth: human beings have always created deep divisions over seemingly trivial differences — illustrated vividly through Jonathan Swift’s satirical story of kingdoms warring over how to crack an egg. Yet, as Keith and David explore this tendency, they uncover a profound evolutionary logic behind our innate impulse to distrust and exclude “others” outside our tribe. From early hunter-gatherer societies protecting themselves from existential threats, to vast empires maintaining cohesion through myths and collective identities, “othering” is a deeply ingrained survival strategy.
But does this mean we’re doomed to division forever? David introduces the concept of “fictive kinship,” where humans form collective bonds through shared stories, myths, and identities, enabling large-scale cooperation across cultures and history. However, as our conversation shifts into a developmental perspective, the limitations and dangers of this instinctual “othering” become clear, especially when we regress into lower stages of consciousness during times of intense polarization.
Drawing upon Integral Theory and the developmental frameworks of Robert Kegan and Terri O’Fallon, Keith and David discuss how the same moral teachings — like the Golden Rule — can be interpreted very differently depending on one’s developmental stage. At a rule-based “Amber” stage, the injunction to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” can devolve into revenge-driven cycles. Yet at a more rational and individualistic “Orange” stage, it fosters genuine reciprocity and empathy. The crucial insight here is understanding how easily individuals at higher stages can regress (or “shadow crash”) into these simpler and more combative perspectives when emotionally triggered — particularly visible in political polarization around figures like Donald Trump.
David also introduces fascinating ideas like “super-normal stimuli” and “hyperobjects.” Through vivid stories — such as Australian jewel beetles fatally attracted to beer bottles — he demonstrates how modern technology, media, and ideological polarization manipulate our deepest evolutionary instincts, trapping us in outrage, tribalism, and moral certainty. Recognizing these powerful yet hidden influences is a crucial step toward reclaiming our attention, energy, and freedom to choose more integrative responses.
Ultimately, the conversation culminates in David’s practical framework of “Holotropism,” describing three simultaneous paths toward wholeness:
Presence (Suchness): Grounding deeply in the present moment, recognizing the undivided, interconnected nature of reality as taught in Zen and other wisdom traditions.
Health (Recovery): Consciously healing past wounds and resolving lingering trauma and relational conflicts that keep us fragmented.
Growth (Development): Actively cultivating a vision of the future self — who we aspire to become—and aligning our behaviors, virtues, and relationships accordingly.
This holistic approach to wholeness in past, present, and future emphasizes dignity, belonging, and psychological safety, creating conditions for genuine dialogue and personal transformation. Keith and David offer practical advice: Notice your reactions, audit your media consumption, root deeply in presence, intentionally repair relational ruptures, and commit to continuous personal growth. They also underline the vital importance of community, coaching, and therapeutic relationships as mirrors that help us see our blind spots and overcome developmental plateaus.
Wrapping up the episode, Keith and David share insightful reflections and powerful quotes from influential thinkers like Ram Dass, Dan Millman, and Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn. They remind us that becoming whole in a divided world isn’t about erasing differences, but rather expanding our capacity to see beyond surface divisions and recognizing our shared humanity. In doing so, we become the leaders we need—embodying empathy, curiosity, and dignity rather than fueling the fires of division.
Join Keith and David in this timely and deeply reflective conversation as they offer practical wisdom, inspiring perspectives, and genuine hope for navigating — and ultimately transcending — the divisions that mark our contemporary moment.
Related links:
- The Structure/Content Fallacy: https://integrallife.com/the-content-structure-fallacy-the-common-mistake-most-integralists-make/
- Applying the Structure/Content Fallacy to the 2024 election: https://integrallife.com/what-were-they-thinking-decoding-the-2024-election/
- More about hyperobjects: https://www.wired.com/story/timothy-morton-hyperobjects-all-the-way-down/
- More about supernormal stimuli: http://www.stuartmcmillen.com/comic/supernormal-stimuli/#page-24
- Supernormal Stimuli & Ideological thinking: https://www.bostonapothecary.com/ideology-and-the-supernormal-stimuli/
- Toxic Polarization: https://annickdewitt.substack.com/p/toxic-polarization-is-killing-us
- Tim Urban’s What’s Our Problem: https://waitbutwhy.com/whatsourproblem
Key Questions
Here are some questions you can contemplate while listening to this discussion. We suggest you take some time to use these as journaling prompts.
- When do I feel my identity contract into “us vs. them”? Notice the moments when your sense of self shrinks to a side, a tribe, or a team — and ask what it’s protecting.
Often our fastest judgments reveal deeper fears, unexamined pain, or inherited narratives. - Can I recall a time when my circle of care expanded? What allowed you to include someone — or something — you once kept at arm’s length?
- Where does my “we” stop — and what would it take to widen it? Every “us” implies a “them.” Where does that boundary live in you, and is it still serving?
- Do I judge beliefs… or do I try to understand how they’re constructed? The content of an idea can look foolish — until you understand the structure that gives rise to it.
- Can I hear the same teaching through multiple developmental lenses? A principle like the Golden Rule means something different at each stage — from rule-following to reciprocal fairness to compassionate embodiment.
- Where is my attention being hijacked by artificial urgency? Super-normal stimuli — moral outrage, addictive memes, algorithmic bait — bypass the discerning mind and pull me into compulsive loops.
- Do I feel more awake… or more reactive after I consume media? Pay attention to how your body feels — grounded and open, or tight and closed — after “doom-scrolling.”
- Where do I feel fragmented, exiled, or unfinished within myself? Often the parts we suppress are the ones we most need to reclaim and integrate.
- Am I chasing growth while bypassing healing? Sometimes we push toward the next stage while ignoring wounds still bleeding behind us.
- Can I honor a person’s dignity even when I disagree with their views? Respect is earned. Dignity is inherent. Can I feel the difference in my own heart?
About Integral Edge
Welcome to a world on the edge.
AI is rewriting the rules. Politics are more polarized than ever, with the far right and left in an endless clash. The metacrisis looms, late-stage capitalism is unraveling, DEI is evolving, and strongmen are rising once more.
But that’s just the beginning.
This podcast takes an integral look at the forces shaping our reality—from cutting-edge neuroscience and biohacking to cryptocurrency, global economics, and the ancient wisdom of awakening, mindfulness, and embodiment.
Keith Martin-Smith brings a deep, multi-perspective lens to the chaos, cutting through the noise to find what actually matters.
This isn’t just another commentary on the world. It’s a guide to seeing—and living—beyond the divide.
New episodes of Integral Edge every second and fourth Wednesday of the month at 10 AM PT. See our events calendar to join the live discussion!
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About Keith Martin-Smith
Keith Martin-Smith is an award-winning author, writing coach, and Zen priest. He is passionate about human connection, creativity, and evolution. His books include "The Mysterious Divination of Tea Leaves", "A Heart Blown Open", and "The Heart of Zen". His most recent book is his first novel, "Only Everything", a novel that explores the promise and the pain of following an artist's path.
About David Arrell
David Arrell is an Executive Coach & Consultant with a background in Entrepreneurship and Leadership Development & Training. He is passionate about both personal and professional growth and supporting those making meaningful and positive change in the world. www.catalystforchange.xyz david@catalystforchange.xyz