Ethics and Awakening: Why Spiritual Growth Isn’t Enough

Jac O'KeeffeCognitive, Ethical, Evolving Spirit, Premium, Spiritual, Spirituality, Video

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Perspective Shift:

  1. Spiritual awakening and ethical maturity are two distinct processes. Experiencing profound states of awakening — including complete stillness or extraordinary perceptual abilities — does not automatically result in ethical wisdom or relational integrity. Spiritual realization must be followed by the conscious cultivation of ethical discernment, responsibility, and humility.
  2. Ethics is not a rule set imposed on awakening; it is the ground that supports true wisdom. Without ethical grounding, even the deepest experiences of nonduality can become distorted, leading to spiritual bypassing, misuse of power, and harm to others. Ethics is not something “added on” after realization — it is an integral condition for stabilizing realization in human life.
  3. Shadow work and psychological integration are necessary for higher development. Spiritual insight alone is insufficient for personal transformation. Without facing and integrating unresolved psychological material — the “shadow” — spiritual practitioners risk falling into subtle forms of bypassing, distortion, and misuse of power, even while believing themselves awakened.
  4. True ethics is creative, alive, and subtle — not rigid or moralistic. Ethical life at later stages is not merely about obeying static rules but about dynamically sensing the impact of thoughts, words, and deeds on the evolving world. Mature ethics involves a continual attunement to deeper patterns of harm, benefit, autonomy, and relational coherence.
  5. Misuse of power stems from ignorance; abuse of power from conscious exploitation. Not all harm caused by spiritual leaders is intentional. Misuse of power often arises from unexamined blind spots, immaturity, or lack of training, while abuse of power involves deliberate manipulation for personal gain. Both cause real harm, but misuse invites accountability and repair, whereas abuse typically resists correction and protects dysfunction.

In this profound and refreshingly candid conversation, Kimberley Theresa Lafferty is joined by Jac O’Keeffe — spiritual teacher and co-founder of the Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI) — for a deep dive into the often-overlooked foundation of spiritual life: ethics.

Together, they explore why ethics is not just a set of rules, but a living, evolving intelligence that must grow alongside our spiritual insights. They trace the developmental arc of ethical understanding — from childhood obedience to post-conventional nuance — and confront the widespread myth that spiritual awakening automatically leads to ethical maturity. Spoiler: it doesn’t.

Jac shares her personal story of spontaneous awakening, psychic overload, and years of deep practice (including a two-year stretch with no thoughts at all) while vulnerably unpacking how ethics only entered her awareness after those peak states. The conversation weaves together wisdom from Indo-Tibetan traditions, personal breakthroughs, and the hard-earned lessons of working with spiritual power, shadow, and community.

Topics include:

  • The difference between abuse and misuse of power
  • Why many spiritual teachers lack peer support, and what to do about it
  • How spiritual bypassing blocks development
  • The role of shadow work in crossing into later stages of growth
  • What tantric ethics actually require (hint: it’s not what Google says)
  • And how to turn profound insight into embodied wisdom
  • This is a conversation for spiritual practitioners, leaders, and seekers who care not just about waking up—but about growing up and cleaning up too.

Ethics, it turns out, isn’t a detour on the spiritual path. It is the path.

Question GlyphKey Questions

Here are some questions you can contemplate while listening to this discussion. We suggest you take some time to use these as journaling prompts.

  • Do I assume that my spiritual experiences automatically make me more ethical? In what ways might I be confusing awakening with maturity?
  • Where in my life have I unknowingly misused power? Can I identify moments where I caused harm through ignorance, blind spots, or unexamined assumptions — even without malicious intent?
  • When I experience insight or awakening, do I take the time to fully integrate it into my body, relationships, and daily choices? Or do I move too quickly to share, teach, or act on it?
  • Am I willing to be accountable for my blind spots and mistakes? How do I respond when I receive feedback about ways I may have caused harm, intentionally or unintentionally?
  • Where am I vulnerable to spiritual bypassing? Do I sometimes use spiritual ideas or practices to avoid emotional pain, relational complexity, or personal responsibility?
  • Do I have a support structure — mentors, peers, or communities — that can reflect back my blind spots with care and honesty? If not, how might I begin to cultivate such relationships?
  • How fully do I embrace the slow, sometimes uncomfortable work of integrating my humanity with my spirituality? Where do I still hold an idealized image of being “done” or “above” certain human experiences?
  • Do I approach ethics as a living, evolving practice? How often do I consciously consider the impact of my thoughts, words, and actions on others — not just in obvious ways, but in subtle and relational ways?
  • Am I protecting an idealized spiritual identity at the expense of real growth? Where might humility, vulnerability, and peer feedback deepen my path more than another peak experience?
  • How do I define true spiritual maturity for myself? Is it based on my insights, my ethical embodiment, my relational integrity — or something else?

Previous Episodes of Evolving Spirit

The Occupational Hazards of Awakening

The Occupational Hazards of Awakening

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In this profound dialogue, Kimberley Lafferty and Santiago illuminate the occupational hazards of awakening, exploring the bliss and challenges of ego dissolution and emptiness within daily life. They offer deep insights and practical wisdom for integrating profound spiritual experiences into authentic human living.
Evolving Love: The Secret Path to Awakening

Evolving Love: The Secret Path to Awakening

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This conversation explores how love evolves alongside human development, revealing how our relationships reflect and shape our consciousness. Through personal stories, integral psychology, and esoteric wisdom, Kimberley Theresa Lafferty, Dr. Daniel Stickler, and Dr. Mickra Hamilton uncover how intimacy, shadow work, and sacred partnership can become profound paths of transformation and awakening.
Making Sense of the Extraordinary

Making Sense of the Extraordinary

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In the debut episode of Evolving Spirit, Kimberley Theresa Lafferty invites us into a raw and heartfelt exploration of extraordinary experiences—those profound moments that challenge our understanding of reality and connect us to deeper meaning. From developmental insights to the importance of ethical grounding, Kimberley offers a sophisticated framework for integrating these transformative encounters into our lives with wisdom, compassion, and community.

About Jac O'Keeffe

Jac is a spiritual leader, teacher, and author of books Born to Be Free and How to Be a Spiritual Rebel. She is also a founding member of the Association for Spiritual Integrity (ASI). This organization encourages spiritual teachers and the community to support one another in a process of growth and spiritual development. It aims to develop a network of resources for those in a role of leadership and encourages continual self-reflection.

About Kimberley Lafferty

Kimberley Theresa Lafferty is a seasoned teacher-practitioner specializing in constructive developmental psychology and Indo-Tibetan Vajrayana. She leads multi-year, private spiritual education cohorts with the Confluence Experience. Kimberley co-leads, with Terri O’Fallon, the penultimate Minds I year-long developmental course of Stages International. She is an active Board member for the Association for Spiritual Integrity. Kimberley is also a wife and mother to a young son, living in a remote valley of the North Cascades of North America which deeply impacts her worldview and practice.