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Perspective Shift:
- Sexuality is a pathway to personal and relational growth. Viewing sexual experiences as opportunities for deeper understanding and connection transforms them from mere physical acts into avenues for emotional and spiritual development.
- The “love affair” is ongoing, not just in moments of physical intimacy. Understanding that the emotional and relational aspects of love continue beyond the bedroom encourages couples to nurture their connection daily.
- Attunement is essential for deep connection. Emotional attunement—being fully present and responsive to your partner’s needs and feelings—forms the foundation of a strong, intimate relationship.
- Every relationship is unique and requires a tailored approach. Recognizing that no one-size-fits-all solution exists encourages a more flexible, adaptive approach to addressing the specific needs of each relationship.
“The most active sexual couples are actually making love 1% to 3% of their waking hours. But the love affair is happening 97%, 98%, 99%, 100%.”Dr. Keith Witt
“Every couple has different levels and lines that are at different stages and different capacities and different interests and proclivities and traumas and attachment styles, and all of this culminates into this very complex thing, this complex organism that we just simply call a relationship.”Corey deVos
Are you struggling to maintain emotional and sexual intimacy in a relationship that feels increasingly complex and challenging?
Do you find that traditional approaches to sex therapy fall short in addressing the unique dynamics and needs of your relationship?
In this episode of Witt and Wisdom, Dr. Keith Witt and Corey deVos dive into the intricate world of integrally informed sex therapy—a comprehensive approach designed to address the unique complexities of modern relationships. Dr. Witt presents integrally informed sex therapy as a “meta-sex therapy,” a method that integrates romantic, scientific, and spiritual approaches, tailoring them to meet the specific needs of each individual or couple. This innovative therapy moves beyond the limitations of traditional sex therapy by recognizing the multifaceted dynamics within every relationship and crafting a personalized therapeutic journey.
The discussion kicks off with an exploration of how sexual interactions occupy only a small fraction of our waking hours, yet the “love affair” between partners is a continuous process. Dr. Witt emphasizes the critical importance of maintaining emotional intimacy and connection outside of physical encounters, as these elements are vital for sustaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
Corey deVos deepens the conversation by applying his 8 Horizons model of relationships to explore the various types of complexity that couples face. This model provides a framework for understanding how different aspects of a relationship—ranging from individual psychological states to shared cultural narratives—interact and influence the overall dynamic. Corey highlights that each relationship is a unique organism, composed of different stages, capacities, traumas, and attachment styles, and that navigating these layers is essential for a successful partnership.
Dr. Witt also reflects on the evolution of sex therapy, noting its relatively recent development as a field and its growth into a discipline that now includes a variety of approaches. Integrally informed sex therapy synthesizes these methods, offering a comprehensive and adaptive framework that evolves with the changing dynamics of each relationship.
Throughout the episode, Dr. Witt and Corey discuss practical strategies for enhancing sexual and emotional intimacy, such as the importance of emotional attunement, the impact of cultural narratives on sexual identity, and the role of mindfulness in improving sexual experiences. They emphasize that a thriving relationship is one where both partners are committed to mutual growth and development, constantly attuning to each other’s needs and evolving together.
This episode offers valuable insights for therapists, couples, and individuals seeking a deeper understanding of sexual intimacy and relationship dynamics. By integrating various therapeutic approaches and utilizing models like Corey’s 8 Horizons, integrally informed sex therapy provides a powerful tool for creating and sustaining healthy, fulfilling relationships.
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About Keith Witt
Dr. Keith Witt is a Licensed Psychologist, teacher, and author who has lived and worked in Santa Barbara, CA. for over forty years. Dr. Witt is also the founder of The School of Love.
About Corey deVos
Corey W. deVos is editor and producer of Integral Life. He has worked for Integral Institute/Integal Life since Spring of 2003, and has been a student of integral theory and practice since 1996. Corey is also a professional woodworker, and many of his artworks can be found in his VisionLogix art gallery.