orgiveness — it is easy to say, but how many of us actually know how to do it?
Forgiveness is a deceptively complex act, involving a complex calculus of developmental intelligences — including our cognitive intelligence and emotional intelligence, our spiritual intelligence and self-defenses, our intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligences, our moral and ethical intelligences, etc. All of these are being “lit up” in different ways by the act of forgiving, and each is exerting its own influence upon the depth, span, and quality of our forgiveness. What’s more, if we are not engaging in a consistent Cleaning Up practice, then genuine forgiveness is that much more difficult to find, as resentment has a funny way of wrapping itself around the hidden residues of our unexamined shadows.
To authentically forgive — “the absolute refusal to hold ill will against someone for what they did or didn’t do” — can actually be tremendously challenging. Fortunately Barbara Hunt is with us to help make it simple. Watch as Barbara talks to Lisa and Corey about forgiveness as an integral “master practice” — a practice that scaffolds and supports the rest of our various waking up, growing up, cleaning up, and showing up practices.
We currently live in a culture that has taken a healthy Green-altitude ideal — “I am responsible for not offending other people” — and twisted it into a self-serving stance that says “you are responsible for not offending me”. This has resulted in a collective regression away from a healthy pluralism that can tolerate multiple discordant points of view, and toward something like the “grievance culture” (or “apology culture”) that we find today. But without an underlying “forgiveness culture” to support it, “grievance culture” can only end in more fragility, more tribalism, and an endless cycle of resentment.
Can we forgive ourselves and our own shadows in the Upper-Left quadrant, while still holding ourselves accountable to our own transformation?
Can we forgive our shortsighted behaviors in the Upper-Right quadrant, while holding ourselves accountable to transformation?
Can we forgive each other for our failings in the Lower-Left quadrant, while holding each other accountable to our mutual transformation?
Can we forgive the historic currents and inertias of our society, as well as the flawed systems they have produced in the Lower-Right quadrant, while holding civilization itself accountable to transformation?
Can we forgive a God who inflicts such terrible suffering and heartbreak upon our lives, while seeking divine inspiration for our ongoing transformation?
In an era that is becoming increasingly fragile with every new social media post, forgiveness has become the ultimate practice of anti-fragility. And it is exactly the panacea we need in order to liberate ourselves, to heal our cultural traumas, and to enact a more just society for all of us.
There is no better time than now to recommit to your practice and to your personal transformation.
We are all standing at the cusp of a new “Transformation Age”, which is calling us to find new strategies in order to overcome the challenges and pressures we are facing in just about every dimension of our lives — our political systems, our economic systems, our cultural conflicts, our physical health and behaviors, our mental health and personal sense of meaning, etc.
All of these challenges require exactly the sort of wisdom, mindfulness, and skillful engagement that we are cultivating with the Integral Life community. And we very much want you to be part of this incredible community of practice, so that this evolutionary unfolding can move through you rather than around you.View the Calendar
Previous Episodes of The Art of Practice
What do you do when you know you need to forgive, but can’t?
Ever wished forgiveness was easier?
Many people don’t understand what forgiveness really is. Most people don’t know they are the one who will benefit the most from forgiving. This simple, revolutionary guide explains what forgiveness really is – letting go of bad feelings – as well as what forgiveness isn’t and how to overcome the five most common obstacles to doing it.
Even if you know you need to forgive someone, you might not know where to begin. Once you know what’s been getting in your way, you can use the simple seven-step Forgiveness Made Easy process immediately and:
- Let go of old baggage and move on from your past
- Resolve childhood issues with your family
- Improve all of your relationships
- Improve your health – reduce your mental and emotional stress
- Feel better about yourself and your life right now
You don’t have to wait for time to be the great healer. You don’t even need any particular spiritual beliefs to use this straightforward mental and emotional health practice. All you need is a willingness to discover forgiveness afresh.
Ken Wilber and Corey deVos
Ken and Corey respond to the COVID-19 pandemic by suggesting a far more comprehensive approach to health and healing. In the first segment of the discussion (available to watch for free), Ken discusses the almost miraculous power of forgiveness, and how it not only helps improve our overall interior happiness and fulfillment, but also produces better health outcomes as well.
Dr. Keith Witt, Jeff Salzman, and Corey deVos
Watch as Dr. Keith Witt, Jeff Salzman, and Corey deVos take an in-depth look at the art of happiness, exploring some of the central perspectives and practices that can lead to a more happy, wise, and fulfilling life.
About Barbara Hunt
Barbara J. Hunt is an author, facilitator, coach, and forgiveness specialist. She has many years’ experience in transformational change and leadership training and is a co-founder of Leading Beyond Ego. Her private practice serves individuals and groups nationally and internationally, both on-line and in person. She is also one of the core team of therapists at Vital Detox, a deliberately developmental organisation and the UK’s leading health retreat specialising in emotional and physical wellbeing.
About Lisa Frost
Lisa is an Integral Master Coach and facilitator and specializes in helping individuals traverse complex crises, change and major life transitions – both in professional and personal contexts. She helps individuals thrive in the midst of uncertainty and work through the aspects of self that hold us back from realizing the profound sense of fulfillment and joy that is available to all. She has deep personal practices of surrender and shadow work and enjoys hiking with her dogs in her spare time.
About Corey deVos
Corey W. deVos is Editor-in-Chief of Integral Life, as well as Managing Editor of KenWilber.com. He has worked for Integral Institute/Integal Life since Spring of 2003, and has been a student of integral theory and practice since 1996. Corey is also a professional woodworker, and many of his artworks can be found in his VisionLogix art gallery.